BotW Champions Group Chat

The Demon King Rises (Again)

(Link, Zelda, Mipha, Daruk, Urbosa, and Revali joined the chat)

LINK: Hey everybody, how are you

REVALI: Fine. Just thinking about how I could have easily beaten Windblight Ganon.

URBOSA: Pffft

ZELDA: Speaking of Ganon, I've been trying to put together a connection between all the forms of Ganon we've fought.

DARUK: They're all just giant pigs right?

ZELDA: No. You see, I met Ganondorf in the ancient past, when this iteration of Hyrule was founded, and then he was revived in the present. Meanwhile, Calamity Ganon has struck multiple times throughout history, including 100 years ago and 10,000 years ago.

REVALI: 10,000 f*cking years... What kind of writing is that...

ZELDA: Anyways, I've determined that Calamity Ganon was a phantom caused by gloom leaking from Ganondorf's body.

LINK: But didn't I discover that Calamity Ganon's turmoil caused the disruptions which helped awaken Ganondorf?

ZELDA: Hmmm. Well, no matter. Ganondorf ended up being the real mastermind in the end. Astor, the Yiga, Calamity Ganon, and everybody else were just pawns. 

LINK: Yeah, and I absolutely destroyed that man, what a pushover. And that final form, what a joke?

ZELDA: I mean it was quite difficult compared to Dark Beast Ganon right?

LINK: True, yeah ig it was a real challenge, when you compare it to the absolute pathetic mess that DBG was.

MIPHA: Let's just hope that Ganon will never again return.

DARUK: I mean, evil always returns somehow, right? Remember when Astor got transformed into a pile of bananas and then showed up a few days later?

URBOSA: That was probably just a clone or something, Daruk

DARUK: But still, these bad guys always seem to decieve us one way or another. It is why we're ghosts, after all.

REVALI: Some of us, but not the princess or the pathetic knight with the sword that seals the darkness. If I hadn't wished him good luck on sealing the darkness, he'd be as dead as we are.

LINK: Is that a challenge?

MIPHA: No fighting!

REVALI: Sorry, princess mipha

URBOSA: Simp

ZELDA: Will you all stop

(Sooga joined the chat)

SOOGA: Your highness, I bring news. It reguards your impending death.

ZELDA: Wha-

SOOGA: But don't worry, I'm not the one trying to kill you. It's Ganon's followers.

ZELDA: Explain?

SOOGA: Well as you all know, there's like 50 ways to resurrect Ganon. There's the three flames, waiting 10,000 years, breaking whatever seal he's behind, or using the blood of the hero.

REVALI: Dang

SOOGA: Well, our hero here made the mistake of cutting himself with a knife, and not cleaning up the blood.

MIPHA: Link! A knife wound? Why didn't you tell me?

LINK: I can't show weakness dang it

SOOGA: So, Ganon's remaining loyalists have gathered this blood, and sprinkled it on Ganon's ashes as the legends say, and now Ganondorf is being resurrected as we speak, more powerful than ever before, armed with the Triforce of Power itself.