(Link, Zelda, Mipha, Revali, Urbosa, and Daruk joined the chat)
LINK: Guess what everybody?
REVALI: You got hit with a Savage lynel crusher again?
LINK: Nah, I got a cool event to invite you guys too.
DARUK: Tell me more
LINK: Well remember back in the old days, when Mipha and Zelda both bought me like mansions and private islands and stuff to gain my favor? Well, today, Mipha bought Zelda's old vacation home for like 2 million bucks and I'll be hosting a party there!
URBOSA: Wasn't that the place where we had our party a few years back? The one where the ceiling had spikes and people who slept on the floor died for some reason? And we all had to sleep on top of each other?
LINK: Yup
REVALI: If we have to sleep with other people again then I'm out, that was asinine last time
LINK: There will be noble pursuits
REVALI: Alcohol may convince Urbosa, but not me
LINK: There will be unsuspecting guests who you can use to feed your ego
REVALI: Count me in
LINK: There will be rock roasts
DARUK: Hell yeah!
LINK: I'll be there
MIPHA: Please let me go Link
LINK: And there will be plenty of time to nerd out
ZELDA: Let's go!
DARUK: This sleepover is gonna be poggers!
REVALI: uh- did you just-
LINK: well, i'm gonna prepare the celebration.
(Link, Zelda, Mipha, Revali, Urbosa, and Daruk left the chat)
Later
(Link created Sleepover chat)
(Zelda, Mipha, Revali, Urbosa, Daruk, Sooga, Kohga, Impa, Robbie, Purah, Riju, Tulin, Yunobo, and Terrako were added to the chat)
LINK: Where's Sidon?
RIJU: Busy being a badass Zora King
KOHGA: And busy not being in a romantic relationship with Link
DARUK: DAMNNNNNNN
LINK: Why ya'll gotta do sidon dirty like that.
URBOSA: Let people ship what they want. Personally, I ship everyone with everyone.
SOOGA: Freak
URBOSA: You want a real freak, yiga? There's one behind your mask
DARUK: Dangggggg
REVALI: Can ya'll stop roasting each other so we can get this party started?
ROBBIE: Let's turn up the music!!!!
(Yunobo and Tulin left the chat)
DARUK: Guys Urbosa and Revali are drunk af
ZELDA: Typical, nothing to worry about
MIPHA: oh no oh no oh no
PURAH: ?
MIPHA: ....... Link is drunk
ZELDA: !!!!!
DARUK: Things could get very interesting right now
MIPHA: Link?
LINK: Hullo fish wife
ZELDA: Link what the hell are you saying!
KOHGA: Oof! She just slapped him in the face!
SOOGA: If we were a thing, master kohga, know that I would never slap you like link and zelda do
KOHGA: First off, link and zelda are technically not a pair, and second, Sooga x Kohga can't be real when I'm technically your adopted father!
SOOGA: Damn morals and ethics :(
DARUK: Ethics are overrated
IMPA: That explains your brief tenure as a communist revolutionary
LINK: Ayyyy Miph you wanna go upstairs
MIPHA: Uh- Link- I-
ZELDA: Link! Be a responsible knight and say no!
DARUK: Responsibile ≠ Drunk
PURAH: Fair point
ZELDA: But-
DARUK: It looks like a new bed has been added upstairs since last time we were here. How about Link and mipha take that one while the rest of us share down here?
REVALI: I will not sleep with the fat banana man again!
SOOGA: Slander the master of the inverted eye again and I'll slit your throat
REVALI: .... Ok fine I accept my fate
(Revali left the chat)
DARUK: I will take the couch. Just know there my be a loud sound at 3:00 am, it will probably be the couch frame collapsing
ROBBIE: Purah and I have created methods that make it so we don't need sleep
(Purah and Robbie left the chat)
IMPA: I'll just sleep on that chair over there in a meditative form
(Impa left the chat)
URBOSA: Ya'll are a weird. But I guess I get a bed to myself. Unless little bird would like to share?
ZELDA: I'm fine, Urbosa. But don't forget about Yunobo and Riju
URBOSA: Yunobo took Tulin home since he's not even old enough for alcohol
ZELDA: Alright. Then you sleep with Riju, and I'll be by myself junless you count Terrako. The third bed down here can be for Kohga and Sooga.
(Urbosa and Riju left the chat)
KOHGA: Sweet! Glad we don't have to share with f*ckfeathers
(Kohga and Sooga left the chat)
DARUK: Link and Mipha never left the chat...
ZELDA: Doesn't the chat have a feature that automatically puts your speech into text?
DARUK: .......
(Link and Mipha were kicked off the chat)
DARUK: I'll pay for the couch here, tiny princess
ZELDA: I don't own the place anymore, remember? That zora princess bought it.
DARUK: No need to get upset about that stuff, zelda. I mean, you are like the second most important character here! I'm sure you get with Link in like 90% of timelines. And in this timeline, you'll always have Link's brother Runk.
ZELDA: The guy who stalks Gorons whose names begin with "B" on specific days of the month? And eats pizza dipped in sand?
DARUK: That's oddly specific but yeah, he ain't half bad.
ZELDA: Daruk...
DARUK: come on, tiny princess
ZELDA: .....
(Zelda left the chat)
DARUK: *sigh*
DARUK: Wait is that Runk looking through the window smiling and holding a bloody knife?
(Daruk left the chat)
YOU ARE READING
BotW Champions Group Chat
FanfictionJoin the cast of Breath of the Wild/Age of Calamity as they fight each other, roast each other, make memes and references, discuss ships, and declare wars. (Extreme cringe warning) This was inspired by other breath of the wild Champion Group Chat st...
