Sleep With Me | KNJ x Reader

Ch 3 | Face Card

Y/N's POV:

You made sure Namjoon was hidden in your room when you grabbed the fried chicken from the delivery man. Namjoon had specifically requested something unhealthy to eat, which you were more than okay with. Once you set everything out, the man practically inhaled his large portion.

The two of you are now relaxing against the couch, bellies full while watching a random variety show.

"Oh man," Namjoon exhales. "I needed that more than I thought I did."

You chuckle and turn to look at him. "Are you usually dieting? I have fried chicken at least two times a week so I can't imagine."

He flashes you an exhausted dimple smile. "Yeah we're usually on a pretty strict diet and workout regimen. Although today's situation has been crazy, it's actually pretty nice to have a few hours to relax and enjoy some food. We've been insanely busy."

You nod and continue watching the TV. After a few minutes, you glance back over at Namjoon and he's just staring at the ceiling, leaning his head back on the cushions. He's got a glazed, exhausted look in his eyes, almost as if he wants to cry from sheer exhaustion.

You sit and stare at him for a moment, twiddling your thumbs together, wondering if it's okay to ask what's on your mind. He turns his head and meets your eyes, lifting an eyebrow as if he's asking why you're staring, his beefy body remaining in the same position.

I swear if he ever lifts his eyebrow and does that signature jaw clench near me, I'm taking him right then and there.

"Is it hard on you?" you ask quietly.

He pauses before questioning, "Is what hard on me?"

"Being the leader of BTS." You glance away for a moment and then return to meet his eyes. "Working nonstop and having to be perfect 24/7. Not being able to feel safe going to public places. Starving yourself just to please other people. Multiple sleepless nights. All the hate you receive. Y'know, just everything..." you trail off.

He stares into your eyes before looking back up at the ceiling and shrugging, "It's worth it for our fans."

"I didn't ask if it was worth it. I asked if it was hard on you."

His breath hitches for a moment. After a few seconds he meets your eyes again, the look in his eyes almost breaking you. Maybe he feels comfortable with you or maybe he's just too exhausted to care, but you can see a lot of stress and sadness behind his beautiful brown eyes. The air in the room almost feels heavy and still as you wait for him to answer.

He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it as a single tear escapes his left eye.

"Shit," he mumbles, breaking eye contact to sit up and wipe his tear. "I wasn't expecting you to ask that." He buries his face in his hands, taking a few deep breaths. You can tell he doesn't want to cry in front of you, so you wait for him to calm down before speaking, unsure if he wants to talk about it or not.

After a few minutes of silence, he breathes into his hands and says, "Yes, it's really hard," with his voice slightly cracking.

You can't help yourself. As if it's an instinct, you immediately lean over and wrap your arms around him, giving him a bear hug from the side. The sudden action makes him stiffen up a little bit, but he doesn't push you away.

"You're doing a great job," you whisper. "I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm so proud of you. I can't imagine how difficult your path has been."

There's no reason for you to blurt out such a thing. He's a stranger to you, and you're a stranger to him. Maybe this is overstepping, or even annoying. But for some reason, you can't help yourself. These are the words your heart is screaming at him, and something tells you this is what he needs to hear.