Forelsket {Dokyeom, DK ff}

Emotional wreckage

*This chapter has mentions of death* 

In the hospital, the days blurred together as we navigated through medical consultations, tests, and the emotional toll that a loved one's illness brings. Dokyeom's unwavering presence, his soothing words, and his simple acts of kindness became pillars of strength for me.

The hospital days stretched on, each one carrying a weight that seemed to grow heavier with each passing moment. The medical updates weren't promising, and the reality of my father's deteriorating health settled in. Despite the pain, my sister Jiah and I faced the situation head-on.

The news of my father's passing was a heavy blow on our family but we held in every emotion. There were arrangements to be made, decisions to be taken, and a funeral to be carried out. The days blurred into a flurry of activities, but not a single tear was shed. We were too busy being strong for each other, for our mother, and for our father's memory. Our mother decided to move in with Jiah, a way to pass her time along with her granddaughters and as an emotional support for my sister while her husband was away in the military.

Dokyeom started visiting me after his practice. Often he used to be home before I was even home from my office. He and I cooked together, it had been a week since the funeral. The tension between us had still not gone to how it was before, I stayed silent most of the time, emotionally tired to carry out any kind of social activity. Thankfully Dokyeom understood that and stayed as a silent pillar by my side without asking too many questions. Somewhere the guilt of pulling Dokyeom in this depressive process of mine was arising but I had become a selfish version of myself, unable to think about anyone apart from me.

After our dinner, we both sat in my bedroom, with him reading me a poetry book, something he had recently gotten into. He was snuggled by my side as I sat leaning my back on the headboard.

He flipped through pages and found another one to read out to me, "Okay see this one, 'Some flowers bloom at night, when everyone is asleep'  It's just a sentence but it's so beautiful." As he read it out, my facial expression changed. He looked up at my face after reading out the line and saw my face making him sit up.

"My dad used to tell me this." I said with a small sad smile on my face as Dokyeom attentively listened to me mirroring my sad smile. 

"I went abroad to study fashion and I wasn't the best at a few subjects, and he used to tell me this. I thought it was absolutely dumb to compare my situation to this line. I realised it too late." I said and for the first time after his death, tears welled up in my eyes.

The heaviness in my chest finally overwhelmed me, and the tears started to fall. Dokyeom, sensing the shift, wrapped his arms around me, providing a comforting presence without saying anything.

"I thought I had it all together," I admitted, my voice choked with emotion. "But it's like a dam's gates broke open, and I can't stop it." I said my voice breaking as a flood of tears streamed down my face.

Dokyeom held me tighter, his warmth a soothing balm. "It's okay to let it out, Hana. Grieving isn't a sign of weakness; it's a testament to the love you have for your father."

As I cried uncontrollably, he continued to offer words of solace. "You don't have to be strong all the time. It's alright to feel the pain and sadness. I'm here for you, whatever you need."

I nodded against his shoulder, unable to find the right words. The pain was raw, and the reality of the loss was settling in. "I miss him so much," I finally admitted, my voice barely audible.

"I know," Dokyeom murmured. "It's okay to miss him. He was an important part of your life, and that doesn't just fade away."

Dokyeom pressed soft kisses on my head to soothe me as I cried harder, making it difficult for me to breathe. Through the hug, Dokyeom cupped my face with his one hand.