The Regular Show X Reader

Death Punchies

Mordecai turns on the television, Rigby inserts the game cartridge in the console and (Y/n) presses the power button on the console. "D-d-d-d-daaaaa-Dig Champs!" The announcer in the game said. "Dudes, these are probably the best graphics I've ever seen in my life." Rigby said. "Dude, it looks just like the cover." Mordecai said. (Y/n), Mordecai and Rigby chuckle at the cover of the game and the game itself, with the cover obviously looking better and different then the actual game. "Oh man. Guys, let's play it." (Y/n) said. "Woah, woah, woah!

You can't play game like this right out of the box. We should stretch it out first. We don't want to pull our "hammies," know what I'm sayin'? Hey, whatta ya doin'?" Rigby asked. "Starting. Hurry up, and, pick your character. Hehehe!" Mordecai said. "Aw, what? I wanted to be player one!" Rigby said. "Too bad." (Y/n) said. "Dude, she's player one. You're player two." Mordecai said. "I don't wanna be player two! He just digs with a sucky pick axe! I want the one with the shovel!" Rigby said. "Dude, they're exactly the same." (Y/n) said.

"Then why don't you be player two?" Rigby asked her, and she scoffs. "I'm not using that sucky pick axe." She said, and Rigby gasps. "See?!" He asked. "Dude, calm down. Just play Punchies to see who gets to be player one." Mordecai said. "Fine." Rigby tries to punch (Y/n), but fails. She then punches Rigby and wins. "Ahh!" He shouted. "Looks like I'm player one." (Y/n) said. "No! It's not fair! You two always get your way! Let's play Punchies, let's play Punchies. I'm sick of it! Of course I'm not gonna beat either of you at punchies." Rigby said. "Dude, you don't beat anybody at punchies." Mordecai said. "Yes I do." Rigby said. "No you don't." (Y/n) said.

~Flashbacks~

Rigby and Muscle Man are playing punchies. Muscle Man wins. Pops with his eyes closed punches Rigby to the wall and he screams. In the last flashback, seemingly drunk Mordecai and Pops see also seemingly drunk Skips punch Rigby. Rigby is being taken off by a helicopter presumably to a hospital.

~Present~

"We-oo! We-oo! We-oo! Quick, doctor, both of these butt cheeks are unrecognizable." Mordecai said, and (Y/n) began cracking up. "If we want anyone to be able to recognize this as a butt in the future, then we're gonna have to do a complete butt transplant, stat!" Mordecai said, causing (Y/n) to laugh harder. "STOP TALKING!!! There was only damage to the one cheek and you know it!" Rigby shouted. "Hahaha! That's right! We used to call you the One Cheek Wonder!" (Y/n) said. "Dude, I'm bringin' it back." Mordecai said. "You better not!" Rigby shouted. "Is that One Cheek wonder? I hope he's not trying to play Punchies with cheeks like that!" Muscle Man said. "Hahahahahaha!" The three heard more laughter. Rigby covers them with his tail. "Shut up! Don't look at them!" He shouted.

"Oh, Rigby. You're so adorable when you get angry." (Y/n) cooed, and this caught him totally off guard. "Adorable?" He asked. "Yup." (Y/n) said. Rigby's face turns red with anger and embarrassment. "Ugh, shut up! I'll win at punchies, you'll see!" Rigby runs to his and Mordecai's room. "Wahhh!!!" Rigby jumps on Mordecai's bed. "Ugh! Ugh! Dumb Mordecai! Dumb (Y/n)! I hate both of you!" He shouted. "You better not be messing up my side of the room." Mordecai said. "Dude, he's definitely ruining your side of the room." (Y/n) said, and he groans. Rigby yells and grabs a book.

"YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!!" He throws the book at the door, it bounces of and hits him in the face. "Oww!!!" He screeches in pain continually. A frustrated Mordecai puts on headphones and plays the video game with (Y/n) as she giggles at Rigby's dramatic behavior."Ughh! Stupid bo..." he then notices something. "...ok?" An interested Rigby looks at the phone book, which says "Death Kwon Do." Death Kwon Do? "Learn kicks, chops and punches in moments. Unlock your full potential today"? Yeees..."

Time Skip

"It's a touching story. Really, it is. But I don't know if you're ready for Death Kwon Do." The Sensei said. "Why not?" Rigby asked. "Death Kwon Do is all about self-defense. But, from the sound of it, you just want to hit harder." He replied. "Uhhhh....no? Can you just teach me something?" Rigby asked. "Hmm. Determination. I like that. Okay, I'll teach you some beginner defensive moves. All you gotta do is pick from the sacred text of Death Kwon Do." The Sensei holds up a book titled "Death Kwon Do." "Let's see, we can start you off with "Bicep Flex of Death." Or there's the "Leg Lifts of Death." That's a good beginner's move. Or the "Pelvic Thrust of Death." That's one of my personal favorites." Rigby is searching for moves in the book.