The Regular Show X Reader

The Unicorns Have Got to Go

In The Coffee Shop, Sam gives (Y/n), Mordecai and Rigby a drink of coffee. "Here you guys, enjoy, dudes." Rigby takes a big sip from his coffee. "Ah! Nothing beats drinkin' joe with my bro and best friend! Haha, right, guys?" Rigby asked, but (Y/n) wasn't paying attention. "Huh, what? Yeeeeeaaahh." She sighs dreamily at Sam then he looks at her. "Dudes, he totally just smiled at me." (Y/n) said.

"No he didn't." Mordecai said. "Yes he did." She argued. "Then why don't you ask him out?" Rigby challenged. "Agh. It's not that easy. You two wouldn't understand." (Y/n) said. "Yeah, I don't understand." Mordecai said, and (Y/n) rolls her eyes. "Probably 'cos I'm too busy drinking joe with my bro and best friend like we came here to do in the first place, remember?" Rigby asked angrily. "Shh. Wait." Mordecai shushed him. A commercial starts on the TV. "I once was lost, but now I'm found." A man sprays cologne, and men tears the woman's clothes off. DudeTime, for men."

"What kind of loser would want a bunch of chicks tearing their clothes off? Right, (Y/n)?" Rigby asked. Mordecai imagines what would happen if he bought that cologne, he sprays it on and a bunch of women come out, including (Y/n). "Mordecai." She said. "Oh, hey (Y/n). Didn't notice you there." He said. "Gee Mordecai, I don't think I've ever realized how awesome you are. And you smell great too. Mordecai. Mordecai." (Y/n) and Rigby snap him out of it. "Mordecai. Mordecai." They asked. "Dudes, I'm buying that cologne." He said. "Wait, seriously?" (Y/n) asked in disappointment. "Agh! Why? You said you would chip in for that awesome new game." Rigby said. A flashback occurs in where

Rigby is watching a commercial with two dudes with no shirts. "I'm John." "I'm also John." "We're the Strong Johns! Strong Johns, Strong Johns! You have to buy Strong Johns! Strong Johns, Strong Johns! You gotta buy Strong Johns!" The flashback ends. Rigby sings the theme song from the commercial. "Bam! Now do you two want that game?" Rigby asked. "No, I still want the cologne." He said. "Sorry Rigby, but I'm busy today." (Y/n) said.

"If you buy that cologne then I'm gonna lose all respect for you." Rigby said. "Good. Then we'll both have the same amount of respect for each other." Mordecai fired back. "Boys..." (Y/n) said warningly. "Ugh! What's with you two? We had a plan: coffee, Strong Johns, hang out!" Rigby shouted. "Dude, we can hang out later. I just wanna go buy some that cologne really quick." Mordecai said. "Sorry Rigby, I promise I'll do those things with you some time time this week." (Y/n) rubs her right arm uncomfortably because she knew how Rigby was when he got angry.

"No, that wasn't part of the plan! If you two leave, then I'm gonna have to get some new friends!" Rigby said. "That's cool. I'll probably be too busy with the ladies anyway." Mordecai said. "Well fine. I'll be busy with my new friends! Plan-breakers!" Rigby shouted. Mordecai and (Y/n) both leave. Later on, Mordecai sits on a bench in the park and sprays on DudeTime, and is waiting for chicks, but only Rigby comes, shocking Mordecai. "Are you done with your stupid cologne yet? You know that stuff's not gonna work." He said. "Why don't you get out of here? You don't know anything." Mordecai said. Pops comes to the scene.

"Mordecai, Rigby, wonderful day we're hav—" He smells something funky, which is the cologne, and he runs away squealing in horror, and Rigby laughs. "In your face! I knew that stuff wasn't gonna work." He said. "Shut up! I'm not trying to attract Pops, I'm trying to attract (Y- Margaret." He said quickly. Rigby's eyes widened when he caught the first half of what he said. "What did you just say?" He asked. "I said I'm trying to attract Margaret!" He shouted, clearly annoyed, and Rigby scoffs. "Margaret? You really expect me to believe that? You barely even notice her when we go to the coffee shop unless she brings us our orders! It's not Margaret you're after! It's (Y/n)!" Rigby shouted furiously, and Mordecai quickly shushes him. "Dude, shut up! You don't know what you're talking about!" He shouted.

"Lair!" Rigby points at him angrily. "I know that's why you bought that stupid thing! You're jealous that (Y/n) likes Sam!" Rigby shouted rather loudly. "Dude, shut up!" Mordecai shouted, and they glared daggers at each other, growling slightly. Rigby huffs and crossed his arms. "That stupid thing won't work on her, she was totally grossed out by it! Plus, she said she was busy today, remember?" Rigby narrows his eyes, and Mordecai growls,