you're losing me (requested)

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"Nayeon? Nay, can we please talk?" You asked as you tugged at her hand.

Nayeon was laughing and joking around with Sana as loud music blasted through the speakers.

Tonight, you and Nayeon are at a party that one of your mutual friends was throwing but, honestly, it sucked.

Perhaps you aren't enjoying it because you're struggling to enjoy much of anything after that argument you and Nayeon had earlier before coming here.

Perhaps, it's because your relationship is on the verge of completely falling apart altogether and after spending the last four years with Nayeon, giving her all of the best versions of yourself, you're crushed about it.

But either way, you have to talk to her.

You just can't deal with this anymore.

"Nayeon?" You said as you tugged at her hand again after getting ignored by her the first time around.

"Nayeon, someone wants to talk to you," Sana said as she glanced at you.

"Yeah, whatever." Nayeon sighed before you left the room and she followed you out.

You went outside, away from the house and all the people around, so you could get some fresh air and maybe have a conversation with her for once.

"What?" Nayeon asked as she folded her arms over her chest. "I have important things to do."

"More important than having conversations with your girlfriend who is this close to walking away?" You spoke and she scoffed. "Nayeon, I'm serious. We're sick, why won't you admit that?"

"Because we always work things out!"

"Do we?" You asked with a sigh. "Or do we just try and go on with pretending that we do? We act like everything's okay when it isn't."

She was quiet as she gazed at the gravel beneath her shoes.

"I'm so tired of this. I miss us. I miss you."

"I'm right here."

"You're not." You replied. "You ignore me, we constantly fight, and I hate living like this."

She went quiet again and it only made you more frustrated.

"Do something! Say something!"

"What do you want from me!?" She yelled.

"I want us to go back to the way we were a couple of months ago. I mean, how did things get to be like this in such a short amount of time? It's been four years that we've been together and up until then, things were so good."

"So what do you think changed?" She asked.

"Everything. Especially..." You began to say and she shook her head, knowing where you were going with this.

"I told you already, Y/N. We're not ready for marriage."

"We aren't? Or you aren't?" You wondered. "I get it if you want to wait, that's fine. But why is it that you were so vocal about it before and then all of a sudden, you refused to talk about it?"

"Have you ever thought that I don't want to marry you? Perhaps that could be a reason."

"Oh, so it's just me? If that's the case, why are we still together!?"

You went quiet after the question left your lips.

"Why are we still together?" You asked.

But this time, your voice was quiet and it was just you asking yourself that.

"We have had a lot of things that we've overcome. Distance, crazy schedules, jealousy - we overcame it all. But you changed along the way." You spoke. "I feel like you don't even love me anymore."

"Of course, I love you. That's just ridiculous!"

"Oh, you do, do you?"

She nodded.

"How can you look me in the eyes and tell me that yet you can't tell that I'm dying?" You wondered as tears filled your eyes.

"Does this all come down to us getting married?"

"No! I mean, yeah, I want that but just because I'm in love with you. But it's just a build-up of so many things that have happened lately. Fighting, us no longer being intimate, you not even wanting to kiss my cheek around the girls like PDA suddenly bothers you. We don't spend time together anymore. You don't call me baby..." You said as you bit your lip. "You don't love me."

She sighed and shook her head.

"I'm not doing this here and now." She spoke as she went to turn around and go back inside.

"Don't ignore me!" You pleaded. "You can go back in there but you and I know damn well that I'm the best thing at this party."

She faced you once more.

"You used to tell me that all the time."

"Well, maybe my feelings about that have changed." She replied.

"Or maybe you've changed. Maybe I have. Maybe we have. But things aren't the same anymore. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I bleed for this relationship, it's just not working anymore."

"What are you saying?" She asked as her eyes suddenly went soft.

"I'm saying that all of those things I said are signs of us just not working anymore. My heart doesn't start anymore for you. You're losing me, Nayeon."

She lowered her head and swallowed thickly, neither of you sure of what to say or do next.

"And I don't think you care. I've sent you so many signals but you just ignore them. You won't admit something's wrong. You make me feel like my pain is just a burden and I can't live like this anymore. I won't."

"Y/N," She sighed.

"I should go. But when you get home from this party tonight, don't be surprised if you come home to an empty house. Because you've lost me."

She watched you walk away, torn on whether to chase after you or just walk away too.

Because things haven't been the same between you in a long time and it's taking a toll on her as well.

Maybe you're right... maybe she has lost you.

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