inadequate ☠ afi + lrh • mgc/cth (boyxboy)

c.t.h

June 12, 2014, 8:34 p.m

"okay are you sure no one needs to use the restroom?" I asked one more time as everyone nodded and I pulled out the gas station and began driving back home.

"only 9 hours and 46 minutes left," Michael smiled from the back and I smiled back before returning to sight to the road and turning up the music.

the beach was really fun to be honest. I was glad we all decided to go. Michael met a girl, even though she's probably too young for him, and 9 hours away from each other, but still. he was seeming a lot happier than usual which is good.

Michael was hardly ever happy. yeah, he acts happy around us, but i've been his best friend for ages now, and I know him better than anyone else does. I know when he's sad and that's usually all the time. he just puts up an act around us, which i'm not sure why. i would talk to him about it any time of the day, but he never wants to discuss things like that.

but I think it's because of his dad. his dad walked out on him when he was 14, and that's a pretty hard age for a parent that you were so close with just to get up and leave with out any trace of his abouts. it's fucking bullshit and I know it took a toll on him.

that's why I always try my best to be around him and hang out with him all the time. I don't want him slipping away from us. who knows what could happen to him if he did so.

plus he's always been there for me. i've been through tough shit too. growing up poor, with my mother struggling with two jobs, and having to take care of my ill grandmother and two kids. that's fucking hard. we barely had money for anything. sometimes we still come up short. but we survive. it's gotten a lot easier. after my grandma past away, all of her money was passed to us, which got us a house, and were actually able to not worry about going in debt anymore. but it still doesn't take away our sadness.

but it's not like my father doesn't do anything. he also worked his ass off, and still does. neither of them went to college and they never thought they'd end up with two kids and a deathly ill grandmother. but i'm glad my father stuck around. it feels good being able to have a father figure. only luke and I have that. but Michaels dad is gone, since he walked out. not sure why. his mother is too. it's usually just him. that's another reason why I like to keep him company.

all of us has had a hard ass life besides luke. he's like the perfect one out of us. there's nothing wrong about him. he has a perfect mom, perfect dad, even perfect siblings. his house is fucking amazing, and he gets whatever he wants and he's always happy. I wish I was him. there's nothing bad about him and he has everything in his hands. he's lucky he doesn't have any shit on his back. lord knows how much baggage the boys and I carry.

I sighed frustrated now that I was into my thoughts. I glanced around to see the boys on their phones, and Michael asleep. driving can get boring, but I like it. you're awake, but all you see is road and wherever it takes you.

my stomach grumbled, and I was starving. I haven't eaten all day. I took a glanced at the box of snack cakes in the middle of the consol and debated on eating one. then I glanced down at my stomach and sighed, shaking my head and deciding not to.

i'll just wait till I get home, and i'll get some fruits and veggies, then I can go exercise. then i'll be fine. maybe I could do that with a snack cake as well? I mean, there's not too many carbs in it.

no, I can't. that'll be caving in and I can't do that anymore. I need to be stronger, and look better. I already have enough fat on me as it is. so it's settle. i'll just wait till I get back home, and get something healthier and then go for a run.

i'll be fine.