c.t.h

7 1 0
                                        

August 29, 2014 11:00 pm

yall best get ready for this chapter i'm so malice I love it

_

"Stay the night," I smiled wrapping my arms around her as I shoved her against my door as she giggled and shook her head.

"Make me," she whispered in my ear as she pulled away smiling and bit her lip, driving me insane as she moved, sitting on my bed.

"You're so fucking hot, Rosie," I groaned as I crawled onto her, shoving her down on the bed giving her a passionate kiss.

Once I pulled away, I slowly kissed down her neck, then decided to give her multiple kisses, all over, causing her a fit of laughter. I couldn't hold back my smile as I laughed too watching her underneath me.

She was mine. And she was so beautiful.

I watched her, thinking of all the possible ways I have hurt her, and I couldn't find a reason as to why I would do such a thing to her. Someone who was the first person to understand me, to be there for me. The first person I ever opened up to. My Rosie.

"Cal?" She asked barely said in a whisper as I shook my head and gave a weak smile before slowly leaning in and kissing the bridge of her nose.

"I really love you," I admitted honestly, "do you know that?"

She watched me as if she was star struck by my words, "If there was anything in the world I would want you to know, anything, it'd be that I truly and passionately am in love with you."

With that, she connected her lips to mine, only for a brief moment before pulling away, staring at my flawed face, and smiled. "I'm in love with you."

I released a chuckle from my mouth as she giggled, and tugged at my hair as I rolled over beside her and say up.

I need to tell her. I can't hide it anymore. If I wait in the long run that will just break her more and she would never trust me again. At least now I can give her time to trust me again after I tell her. I just can't expect the best. I know what's gonna happen.

"Calum," Rosie said scooting close to me as her hand landed gently on my shoulder as her breath fanned my neck. "Are you okay? You seem zoned out?"

I sighed and shook my head not being able to face her now, "Rosie," I began, "I uhm...I-I think I messed up. Bad. And I don't think I can fix it," I said still advoid ing her gaze as I could tell she was frowning.

"What is it?"

I ran my hands over my face as I stood up, my hands shaking as my heart was racing and I felt like I was going to throw up. This time there was actually good in my stomach, and it wasn't me wanting to make myself purge the settling food.

"You're going to hate me," I said shaking my head as she looked worried but she shook her head.

"Calum I couldn't—"

"No, Rosie," I said standing still looking in her eyes this time, "You're going to hate me."

After a moment of the both of us staying quiet she was the one to speak up, "Tell me, Calum," she said quietly trying not to sound as concerned as she was.

I swallowed down the fear and nodded, knowing this was all going down hill, "Okay. It started with Michael. It was for Luke's birthday, which was over a month ago, but everyone was asleep beside him and me and I don't know how it happened but we kissed. Not even meaning it like that, it just awkwardly happened," I admitted this first knowing it wasn't as worst as the others and she frowned but nodded.

"That's okay—"

"No," I said, "That's not all," I said seeing her grow small realizing there's more. I knew she was scared what I was going to say.

"It was the day you left and lily came over to hang out. All we did was watch movies. Well, I didn't mean for anything to happen but I kissed her. She didn't kiss me, it was all me, and she stopped it. But I was the one who messed up," I said seeing she was literally cracking, "That's not even the bad part," I told her with my voice cracking.

"I slept with her," I said seeing her as she began crying and I felt the warm tears fall down my cheeks seeing how broken she was.

"God Calum!" She cried wiping the tear rolling down her cheek.

"There's Luke," I said not meaning too but I felt like I had to get that off of my chest too. I won't tell Luke she knows, but I had to tell her it just came out. Tears fell down my cheeks as she cried more shaking her head.

"There's more?" She cried her voice breaking as I felt my chest tighten.

"I'm sorry," I cried as she shook her head.

"Sorry?" She said with no pity, "I thought you'd be sorry the first but three fucking times, Calum?!"

"I'm sorry I fucked up!"

"What'd you do! Huh? Go on and tell me, it's not like it's gonna change anything anymore," she cried as I swallowed the lump which more tears fell down my cheek.

"I had sex with him too," I cried harder this time, sitting down in my desk chair.

"God," she said shaking her head as she grown pissed, "What the fuck was you thinking?" She spat, "'I love you' my ass!"

I shook my head, "No, no Rosie, I do. Please believe me when I say that—"

"Oh, believe you?" She choked, "You love me just as much as the guy who took advantage of me."

I slammed my fist down on the computer chair standing now, angry as I shook my head, "I am not that," I said shaking my hair as my eyes burned and my hands shook, "I will never be that and you know that. I fucked up. I made the mistake, and I owned up to it. I told the truth about it," I swallowed. "I'm not him."

She nodded, "You're right," she said standing this time taking a breath, and wiping her tears. "You hurt me in ways he never did," she said as she walked around me to walk away, but I wasn't done talking.

I grabbed her wrist turning her around to me, "No!" I said angrily, "You're not leaving like this! We're not gonna end like this!"

"What do you want me to say Calum?!" She yelled at me, "What that it's okay? That's I forgive you for fucking cheating on me three times, but I'm okay?!" She said as her tears fell down her red cheeks.

"You broke my heart," she whispered, "I don't want anything to do with you."

With that she walked out of my room, leaving me alone as I fell against the door and cried.

I lost her.

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