inadequate ☠ afi + lrh • mgc/cth (boyxboy)

m.g.c

August 20, 2014 10:03 p.m

"Destiny, I said walking over to her frowning, "I'm sorry and I hate to do this because it's a dick mood but I need you to leave," I told her setting the alcohol down under the coffee table.

"Why?" She questioned seeming disappointed.

I sighed running my hand through my hair, talking lowly, "Uh my ex is here and I sort of can't say no. I promise to make it up to you," I said as she out the rest of her clothes on and I walked her to the back door.

"Okay then, I guess I'll talk to you later?" She questioned as I nodded. She leaned in for a kiss but I turned my head, looking down.

"I'll text you," I told her as she seemed shocked and nodded scratching her neck.

"Yeah alright, you do that," she said before leaving out my back door.

I sighed as I walked back to the front, letting Bobby inside as we went and sat on my couch awkwardly. For a few moments we just sat in silence. Every second was painful. I didn't have a clue on what to say, I'm not good with situation like this.

"Bobby—"
"Michael—"

We said together as I let an awkward chuckle out, "You first."

"No, you go," she insisted as I sighed.

"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you much," I told her honestly, "Even now it's still hard looking at you. I just, I don't know why exactly I did it and I'm sorry, and I want you to know I still care for you," I said as she frowned and nodded.

She seemed so nervous, and scared and I wondered why. I mean I know we wasn't in such a good position, but I didn't mean to make her think differently of me.

"I told you I forgive you, Michael," she said giving me a small smile, that showed just how broken she was. I could feel the aching in my chest of the pain she felt, and the pain I felt for putting her through it, "And I know I told you I would still be with you, and I still want too. But I can tell you don't want the same anymore," she said as her eyes filled with tears.

"Bobby," I said grabbing her hand as she looked down in her lap, trying to hide from me, "Look I didn't say that," I told her scooting closer as she sniffled.

"But I'm right," she said looking me in the eyes. 

I couldn't deny it. But it's not something I could confirm either. I wasn't exactly sure why I hadn't made my mind up yet. I wanted to know what I wanted, who I wanted to be with but it was so much harder than just a choice. It was my life. It was a choice that if I made I couldn't take back because you can't play with humans like that.

I don't know if I want Bobby. She made me feel like a person, makes me feel so good about myself and gave me happiness. But she was younger than me and we'd have to lie to see each other and I didn't want that. I didn't want to have to sneak around and date over my cellphone because she lives 10 hours away.

Then there's destiny. My first love, she was everything to me. She made me feel alive, made me feel everything and nothing all at once. She made me feel loved, but she hurt me in ways that no one has ever done before. But part of me will always love her. And now she's here and she wants to be with me again, just like Bobby and I don't know what I want.

"No you're not, Bobby," I said as I gave
her hand a squeeze.

"Michael," she said lowly as her eyes brimmed with tears again as she shut them. I looked at her worried.

"What? What is it Bobby," I asked her softly, placing my free hand on her thigh as she stays quiet for a minute. When she glanced back up I saw her lip quiver and then she spoke.

"I'm scared," she whispered as I looked at her confused.

"Why are you scared?" I asked, "I'm right her with you, what's got you scared?"

She took a shaky breathe as she wiped her tear, "Don't hate me, okay," she asked and I shook my head, furrowing my eyebrows.

"I could never," I told her honestly, "Bobby what is it?"

She took a deep breathe before she spoke again.

"I'm pregnant."