inadequate ☠ afi + lrh • mgc/cth (boyxboy)

l.r.h

july 8, 2014, 11:21 a.m

I sat in my room, listening to music with my earbuds, not doing anything in particular. just bored and thinking.

maybe I should have told Ashton happy birthday. it wouldn't of hurt. after all, I was his best friend. I felt almost angry with myself. of course I should have told him. every year he would cry on his birthday, when the other boys would fall asleep. he cry about his dad. ever since he was seven he cried on his birthday hoping his dad would call.

this year I knew he had too. after all he's staying with him tonight. I really hope everything goes as he's always hoped it out to be.

my earbuds was ripped out from my ears and I saw michael standing above me, pissed off.

"what the fuck!" he said as I furrowed my brow standin up.

"what the hell was that for?" I asked as he shook his head.

"what the hell is wrong with you?" he asked as I set my phone on my bed shaking my head and crossing my arms.

"wrong with me? what's wrong with you?! barging into my room and ripping my music from my ears."

he rolled his eyes, "yeah, boo hoo," he said, "why the hell didn't you go see ashton yesterday! it was his fucking birthday. we always spend his birthday with him, could you have not spared five minutes for your best friend?"

I was angry. not really with michael but with what he said. because I knew it was true. I should have just gone and seen him and I was pissed at myself.

"i'm sorry, okay? I know I should have gone and seen him, but I was just busy," I said and he scoffed.

"busy luke? cut the bullshit bye literally just laid there and cried for two fucking hours. and it wasn't about his dad either this time, because surprisingly, his dad called him," he said and my anger left me and I felt almost empty and embarrassed. his dad even called him? and I didn't. how did michael even know about him cryin over his dad every year?

"how did you-"

he cut me off shaking his head, "I woke up and heard and I didn't know what to do so I just laid there and listened," he said.

i'm the worst best friend ever.

"h-he cried because of me?"

"yeah, he fucking did," he said clearly upset that I ruined Ashton's birthday and possibl ou friendship for who knows how long.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "michael I sorry. I just-"

"don't apologize to me luke," he said.

I nodded my head not knowing what else to say. I sat on my best and michael sighed and turned to walk out my room and stopped at the doorway.

"you know," he said, "he asked about you the whole day, luke. all he wanted was a happy birthday from his best friend. and he didn't get that," he said before giving me a sad smile and walked out the room.

I fucked up. I fucked up bad. really bad. all I wanted to do was cry, but calum walked through the doorway and pointed his thumb backwards to michael.

"why'd he leave all upset, did you guys get into it?" he aske as I sighed shaking my head.

"it's nothing," I said slipping my shoes on.

I promised calum id go with him to support group, and i'm going to fufill that promise. I'd do anything that will help him get through this, and feel good about himself. I never want him to hurt and abuse hisself again. so if this is what it takes, than i'll go every time until it ends.