inadequate ☠ afi + lrh • mgc/cth (boyxboy)

m.g.c

August 9, 2014, 10:39 p.m

As I stood with destiny I couldn't help but to steal glances at Calum. Him and luke were sitting on a swing, laughing. Of course they're close, but if anything that would be him and I if we didn't have that fight.

"Oh Michael, you know Danielle?" Destiny asked and I nodded as she tried talking to me, but I was focused on Calum. And how he was leaning in to luke awfully close.

What the hell are they doing...are they kissing? Am I seeing this right? No. No way in hell are they fucking kissing. Oh, oh god they're using tongue!? Luke??! Calum??! No. Fucking hell. That little bastard. I see him pull away and make eye contact with me and I couldn't look away.

"Mikey...?" Destiny says softly as if she seems a little disappointed.

"Hm?" I say turning my attention back to her as she pulled a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Are you listening to me?" She asked and I knew I was upsetting her from basically ignoring her the whole night, and drinking, but I couldn't help it. I wasn't thinking straight.

"Yes," I said nodding and then sighed shaking my head, "No, actually," I said feeling bad, "i'm sorry."

She just shook her head and cleared her throat giving a weak smile, "Yeah, no, it's cool," she nodded as if she was trying to convince herself it was.

I knew exactly she was. I dated this girl for awhile. I know her like the back of my hand. Or I did at least. I shook my head, "No destiny, don't do that."

She looked confused, "Do what?"

"That thing," I said giving no hint as to what i'm talking about, "that thing where you say something is okay when it's not, but you still try to convince yourself it is. I know how you are. I dated you for five-hundred and eighty-seven days destiny," I said chuckling and she looked at me bewildered.

"You know the exact amount of days we were together?" She asked and I nodded.

"Unfortunately," I admitted and she understood exactly why. She nodded her head and my phone began ringing.

I glanced down at it to see that it was Bobby, who i've been ignoring ever since I told her I cheated on her.

I sighed, "Sorry I have to take this," I told Destiny and she nodded as I stepped away from her and answered.

"Hello," I said nervously.

"You answered," she said, and I nodded clearly although she couldn't see.

"Yeah..."

"So that means you're actually gonna talk to me, right?"

I sighed and decided it was just best to, although it wasn't a good time but I couldn't help it, "Yes I am."

"Starters, you missed my birthday," she said and I know I did. I literally tried calling all day but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"I thought about calling. I couldn't do it," I told her honestly, not that she would believe it.

"Michael i'm not mad for what you did, i'm just mad you've been ignoring me," she said and I ran a hand through my hair.

"I'm sorry. It's just hard for me to talk to you when I know what I did. It's just how I deal with it," I told her and she sighed.

"Well it's hard for me too, you think I like for you to try and forget like we never happen?"

"Woah wait, I never said that, Bobby," I told her.

"But that's what you're doing, isn't it," she asked and I couldn't respond. I couldn't answer her that because I wasn't fair to her and it's not fair that i'm doing that. She didn't deserve that and still doesn't.
"Isn't it, Michael?"

I sighed, "Yeah, bobby," I admitted and she stayed silent for a bit as I heard her sniffles and it was hurting me.

"Bobby don't cry, please, i'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," I said feeling guilty, stepping away from the backyard so it could just be the two of us.

"I know," she cried and by now she was trying to control it and I knew she was having a hard time doing so.

"Do you want me to come down there?" I asked as she sighed.

"No," she said, "no that's okay, i'm fine," she said but she was anything but. Clearly she wasn't fine.

After so long of just staying on the phone, she spoke up, "so what is this? Does this mean we aren't together?" She asked.

"I don't know," I responded thinking of destiny and suddenly the pain hit me from that.

"Do you not want to be with me?" She asked and and I squeezed my eyes shut and grabbed my hair as my eyes filled with water.

"I don't know!" I exasperated. "I don't know what I want, Bobby. Okay? I just don't know anymore," I said lowly.

As I sat on the curb of the side walk, I saw Ashton leaving in a rush to his car. He didn't notice me though, which i'm glad of.

"Well whenever you figure it out let me know Michael," she said before hanging up. I waited moments before going back in the party to find destiny. She stood alone, waiting for me just like I left her.

She turned to me and a smile appeared on her face and I returned it, before walking back to her.