Tris Is Alive

Chapter 6

                                 Tobias POV

Two Weeks Later.

    My talk with Christina really did help... but I'm still lost. I don't know what to do anymore, all I know is that I need Tris here with me. I never imagined life without her, I always knew she would be by my side. We were perfect together, even though we had our problems we always chose each other in the end. I walk the streets of Abnegation during the day and at night I walk the halls of the Bureau. I don't want to be in either of these places. Abnegation reminds me of the time me and Tris spent here and the Bureau reminds me of our last few weeks together. I don't even want to go back to Dauntless because I know being there will make me go crazy. The place where I met and fell in love with Tris Prior.

    I don't sleep anymore, I barely want to eat. Christina checks in on me regularly asking how I'm doing. I don't know how to reply to that question anymore, everyone asks me how I'm doing. Obviously I'm not okay, I'm not fine, I lost the love of my life. Nothing is the same anymore and nothing will ever be the same. Caleb tried to talk to me in the beginning, trying to comfort me. I still can't stand to look at him, even though he doesn't look like her he still reminds me of her. To me he's a coward who wasn't worth her life, he's still the brother who betrayed her and their family, and he's the brother who sent her to her execution. Maybe that's why Tris went instead of Caleb, she couldn't send him to his execution like he did to her.

    He told me her last words to me, she didn't want to leave me. I can feel myself start to give way, I lean onto a wall for support. She didn't want to leave me. I sit on the floor and cover my eyes, I don't want to cry again but I can't help it anymore. I feel tears slowly falling down my cheeks, in these moments I like to picture Tris across from me. She would hold my hand, reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. I like to picture her alive and full of energy, just to see her smile one last time...

    I do believe her though, I know she didn't want to leave me. She was just doing what she had to do. What she felt was right, even though she was Divergent her Abnegation ways did overcome her sometimes. She was selfless, even though she didn't believe herself to be. When she stood in front of the throwing knifes for Al, when she helped Christina when Eric was dangling her, when she laid down her life for her brother. She just did what was best for everyone, no matter what the consequences were. That was one of reasons why I fell in love with her.

    I try to push the thoughts out of my mind, it all just still hurts. Uriah's death didn't make things easier, even though I wasn't as close to him as I was to Zeke... it just didn't help. I remember how mad Tris was when I worked with Nita, I should have trusted her judgement. Tris always knew what was best for everyone, she always knew if people were lying or being shady. I always wish I could possess that quality maybe that just will come in time. I get up and brush myself off, I know I need to be stronger than this. That she would want me to keep going, keep improving. It's like I had my whole future planned out, and now I have nothing. All I have left are my memories.