Tris Is Alive

Chapter 10

Tris POV

     I open the door and see Tobias sleeping on a bed. He looks so peaceful, this is probably the most he slept this whole time. I'll have to thank Amar for putting sleep serum in his drink. I sigh and slowly walk towards him, I sit on the bed next to him. I run my hands through his hair, watching him sleep. I look over at the door, Amar told me he would understand if I woke up Tobias. I look back at Tobias, looking so peaceful. Would it be right for me to do this to him, to show him I'm with him but then be gone when he wakes up? Just like when I left to turn myself in for the Erudite. I know how much it hurt him when I did that, could I do that to him again?

     I softly kiss him, touching his cheek. I can't hurt him again, not like that. I slowly touch his face again, memorizing every part of him. I quickly put my hand under his pillow, hopefully I did it fast enough so Amar or no one saw it. I whisper in his ear, "I love you Tobias, never forget that." I kiss him one last time and walk towards the door, trying not to cry. I open the door and then I hear "Tris?"

     I look back and see Tobias sitting up, rubbing his eyes. I shut the door quickly, Amar must have done something for him to be waken up easily. I try to stay calm, he gets up and runs towards me, "TRIS!!!!" I jump into his arms and he kisses me passionately. I can't help but start crying, he looks at me and I realize he's crying too. I wipe the tears off of his cheeks and smile. "I missed you so much Tobias." He kisses me again and just stares at me, "How are you here? You're dead?" I shake my head, "Tobias this is a dream... I had to come see you this way."

     He holds me close, "This just feels so real." I look up at him, "It feels real because we want this to be real." He kisses my forehead, "I don't want to ever wake up then, I just want to be with you." He sets me down on the ground and I hold his hand, "Tobias.... I.... I just.... I wish this could be real." He rubs his eyes again. I make him come to the bed with him, we lay down together and I rest my head on his shoulder. We kiss for a while, I don't want this moment to end. I just want to be with him so bad, I think of Amar's warning not to tell him anything or I will never get this chance again.

     I sit up and look at him, "Tobias, you're being so strong... I'm so proud of you." He sits up and wraps his arm around me. "I'm trying to be as strong as I can, I just can't do this without you. It's so hard... why did you have to leave." I hold his free hand, "Tobias I didn't want to leave you, I never wanted to leave you. Truth is I never left." I see confusion on his face, I look back at the door. "Truth is, I'm always going to be with you. No matter what happens I'm apart of you." He smiles just a little, I can still see the pain in his smile. I want to tell him the truth so bad, just so he won't be in pain anymore. "Please always remember that I love you, and that I'm proud with whatever you do." He squeezes my hand, "For this dream can we just pretend this is real? That you're alive and everything is normal?" I nod and kiss him.

     "Of course we can Tobias, I heard tomorrow you're going to Chicago... that's going to be exciting." I try not to cry when I think of him leaving, he looks out across the room. "I guess it will be, it's going to be something different. It's just going to be hard because of everything that happened there, it will remind me of you more." I shake my head and stop him, "No, remember I'm still alive, I'll be with you wherever you go." He smiles and gets up, he stumbles a little bit. It must be the sleep aid that is still getting to him. "Let's just leave, you and me. We can run away and start our life together. Start a family, get regular jobs and live a happy life." I smile and get up, "Tobias I want that more than anything, come back to bed though, I think you're going to wake up soon." He falls to his knees and starts crying, "I'm not ready to wake up, please don't let me wake up. Tris.... I need you. I seriously need you more than anything."

     I walk over to him and sit down next to him, crying with him. He holds me tight, so tight that it hurts my side wounds but I really don't care at the moment. I make him look at me, "Tobias I'm always going to be with you, no matter where you go or what you do. I'm so proud of you, you're being so strong... stronger than I could be. You have to wake up, and you have to move forward with your life. I know it's hard but I know you can do it. I'll come back to you, sooner or later, I promise. Never lose faith." I wipe his tears and kiss him again.

     We slowly get up and I guide him to the bed, laying down next to him. I try so hard not to cry, but honestly that's all I want to do. He looks at me, "Tris, can I tell you something?" I nod, my heart racing. "I love you so much, I didn't get to tell you that when you were here. Honestly I could see us getting married and having a family. You were the one for me. You made me feel whole again. Thank you for everything you've done for me. I don't know how I'm going to live without you, but I'm going to try for you. I can't promise you I'll be happy or that I'll ever move on... but I'm going to try to live for you." I kiss him and hold him in my arms, I know he needs to feel my embrace. I whisper in his ear, "Just know that I always love you, I'm always going to be here for you Tobias. Don't ever doubt yourself or deny yourself the good things in life. Stay strong Tobias. I love you. Now go back to sleep my love."

     He nods and I can tell he's already crying, I wipe his tears and hold him tightly. "Be Brave Tobias." I whisper in his ear, "I love you Tris Prior." He whispers back. I smile and kiss him one last time, "I love you too Tobias Eaton." He slowly drifts back to sleep and I allow myself to sleep too.