Tris Is Alive

Chapter 31

Tobias POV

    After crying we sit down together, I hold her as close to me as possible. I look down at her and wipe off her cheeks, "I'm sorry for yelling at you Tris... I just.... I didn't know you were going to leave."

    She holds my hand, "I should have told you at first... I just didn't want to hurt you. That's how I feel, every single time I come back. I hurt you more and more. That maybe you could be getting over this... but I keep that from you."

    I make her look at me, "Never say that Tris. Never. I can't get over you, even if you never came back. I would still be the day. I look forward to when I see you, I mean I didn't know I was actually seeing you but I was always really happy. Yeah, it hurt like hell when you left but I would always look forward to the next time. Besides, it's going to be easier now, knowing that you're alive. You'll come back soon."

    She avoids my eyes, I know I just said something to set her off. I feel sick not knowing what it is. Is it possible for this to actually get worse? Is she not coming back and that's why she's spending so much time with me? My stomach drops, "What is it... just tell me now so we can get this over with."

    She looks back up at me, I see the pain in her eyes. I know she's about to say something horrible because her bottom lip trembles. She leans in, "Tobias.... They want me to give you memory serum so you forget about this. Amar told me to slip it into your drink tonight before you fell asleep." She says it so low I almost didn't hear her. I can feel myself freeze up. They want me to forget it all, to forget this whole day. I can see Tris is about to lose it again, I hold her in my arms trying to relax her.

    I shake my head and whisper, "But you're not going to right?"

    I can hear her sigh, I know she doesn't have a choice. "Amar said I have to, only reason he let me come was because he knew in the end you would forget. He had to do a lot to convince them to let me do this, I can't break their rules... they won't let me come back ever again."

    Anger overtakes me again, but not towards Tris. Towards the Bureau. "How could they do this? How can Amar go along with this, when he's supposed to be my friend? Why can't they let us just be together. Fix everyone else's memory to make is as if you never died." I try to relax my tone because I don't want Tris to think I'm angry with her. I look at her again, "Did you say Amar told you to slip it in my drink tonight." She avoids my eyes again, but she slowly nods.

    I feel everything break inside me. By this time tomorrow it will be like nothing ever happened. That I will be sad that Tris is dead and go on with my daily life. It feels like my whole world is breaking again, that I'm losing Tris all over again. "So you decided the best place to tell me all of this was on top of a Ferris Wheel... where it's easy to die."

    She looks at me like I'm crazy, "Tobias never say that." I can tell I hit a nerve with that one. I nod back, she can easily change my mood. She continues, "I just thought it might be easier up here. This was the spot where I started to realize that I liked you." She starts blushing, I grab her hand, "I realized it the second I saw your eyes. Something inside me just clicked." I pull her close to me and kiss her passionately, covering us with the blanket. If I'm going to forget everything tomorrow then I better make the most of everything right now.