Just A Game

The Act

Laying next to Michael I didn't want to ever leave. It was warm and safe. I could feel the comfortable love that floated between our bodies. That love that makes you do anything and everything for that person.

But I had a plane to catch. I gathered up my things and made sure I had everything I needed. I'm the type of person who feels like they're forgetting something the entire time I'm traveling.

I glanced at the clock one last time that read five-thirty. My plane left at six am and my cab was on its way. There was no time to put it off anymore.

Michael had fallen asleep, he looked so happy as he slept snoring softly with a sheet tangled around his waist. I snapped one last picture laughing at how mad he would get if he ever saw it. Except he won't, ever because this is goodbye.

No wanting to wake him, that would only make things harder and also because we spent the last few hours doing other things, I lean down and place my lips on his just enough that they are barely touching.

Normally I wouldn't kiss Michael hell two days ago if someone would've told me I would kiss him goodbye I would laugh my ass off. But for some reason it just felt right. It wasn't a make out session, it was just a small exchange, a gesture of the love that we've shared over the years and the night that we shared last night. A simple goodbye kiss, light and sweet.

Wiping a tear from my cheek I grab my bags and greet my driver.

The ride to the airport wasn't long but it was quiet. I was lost in my thoughts even though I wanted to turn them off. I didn't want to think or feel.

"Rough day miss?" My driver who I learned goes by Todd, asks looking at me in his rear view mirror.

I inhale and try to compose myself. "You could say that."

"You're day hasn't even started yet." He smiles cheerfully. His attempt to lighten my mood makes me smile. He's just a stranger taking me to the airport but he is sincerely trying to brighten my day.

"Actually it hasn't ended, I've sort of been up since yesterday." I laugh dryly realizing how sleep deprived I actually am.

Todd chuckles loudly as we pull to a stop. "Well whatever it was keeping you up, is it a good or a bad thing?" He pauses looking back at me with his eyebrows raised.

I think about what I should say for a moment. Yes, its a good thing for Luke he deserves happiness and to fulfill his dreams without someone holding him back. So why does this good things feel so bad?

"It was something I had to do." I tell him knowing how confusing that must sound to him without knowing the complications of my story.

"Well, whatever thing this is in a few hours I'm sure you'll feel differently." In a few hours I'll probably be crying on an airplane my subconscious chimes in. " And tomorrow it will be a new day just like the next day will feel a little better. This thing is only temporary you have a whole life full of things and not all of them will feel this way."

His words made sense to me but in this moment I couldn't imagine ever not feeling this way. I can't imagine a life without kissing Luke's lips and Ashton's comforting hugs. A life without Michael and Calum in it would just never feel anything but awful and no amount of time would change that. So I smiled and thanked him before stepping out of the car.

With my carry-on bag over my shoulder and a feeling in my gut I stepped onto the plane and found the first empty seat I saw. This was the beginning of my new forever..

---

Sad, long and tired. That's what described my flight. I was spent by the time we landed. Curling up in bed sounded pretty damn good at this point.