Just A Game

Broken

After countless times of helping Luke to the bathroom and cleaning him up the alcohol had finally worn off. He had been sleeping for two hours now without any interruptions. I however gave up on getting any sleep instead I took in how beautiful Luke looked.

He wasn't just this extremely hot guy at least not to me. I saw deeper then that. I love how he always has to cuddle something when he sleeps. That something was usually me until now. I smiled as Luke let out a small giggle, even in his sleep he was the happiest person ever. I fought back the urge to kiss him, I missed his kisses. I always felt something special when we kissed, I think Luke told me once that it was love but that was clearly never true. You don't give up on the people you love.

Luke started to move around a bit and I decided it was best if I left before he woke up. Maybe he wouldn't remember anything about last night. Even if he did last night would never happen again, I'll make sure it doesn't.

Leaving my room I ran into Erica. "Stop looking at me like that." She smiled even wider.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm sneaking out of this room because I did something I'll regret."

"Well did you?"

I sighed moving away from the door. "Not like that, he was shitfaced and I took care of him last night."

"Mhm, I'm sure you took care of him."

We were both laughing as we sat on the sofa. "It wasn't like that."

The two of us decided to watch Frozen, it was just one of those days where you need to watch a Disney movie.....and maybe I wanted to feel like a princess again.

It felt really good to just hang out with Erica. It wasn't awkward or stressful we were just having a good time together. It felt good to laugh, I've been hiding my emotions just pushing them deeper inside so that maybe they will just disappear.

In the past whenever something fucked up happened in my life I would go to some shitty house party and get wasted. That's what I needed to forget about everything going on. The alcohol would shield me from my life and the random guys whispering sweet nothings in my ear made me feel good. None of them ever made me feel beautiful and the sex wasn't as good as it was with Luke.

I didn't party as much when I met Ashton and Michael. They changed me a little I suppose, now I can't imagine life without them.

"Are you excited for Christmas?" Even though Erica was leaving I wanted her to have a fun time with her family.

"Yeah, it will be good to see everyone. My family just gets a little crazy sometimes."

"I hope you have fun." I smiled at her.

"Dude you should totally come with me. I just realized no else will be here."

"I don't wanna be that awkward tag along, you should go and spend time with your family." I was happy that she thought of me but there's no way I was going to intrude on her family time.

"Jo, you're my family too. I don't want you to be alone on Christmas."

"Well Niall invited me to this thing on the beach but I wasn't gonna go."

"Oh my god! You should totally go. It would be good for you to get out of town and out of this house."

"Yeah, I guess it would." She was right I needed to get away from all these memories and go where no one knew who I was.

"What's going on with you two anyway." Leave it to Erica to start talking about boys while we watch Frozen.

"We aren't dating or anything like that, I told him everything that happened between Luke and I and he knows I'm not ready for that."