Breathless - A Janoskians Fanfic. (strong sexual content)

38. No such luck.

I was still pacing, my heart was still beating 60mph and my palms were still drowning in sweat. Why was I so scared? Skip wasn't like Beau, he wouldn't just flip out, but he had. He'd pinned me to the wall last night, and he'd hurt me. I'm not saying I didn't deserve it, I deserved much worse, but I'd seen a different side to Daniel, one that I feared. I decided to leave him until he was ready to wake up, I didn't want him getting angry again. A million thoughts were rushing through my head, I needed to run but with only my underwear and Skip's jersey to cover me, that wasn't going to happen. I left his bedroom, the door slightly ajar just in case, by some miricle, he actually wanted me. I tiptoed across the landing and slid inside the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I felt safe in Skip's jersey, I felt happy that he'd let me wear his favourtie item of clothing but I slowly pulled it over my head and placed it on the floor beside me. I caught sight of myself in the mirror, wishing instantly that I hadn't. Mascara was smudged down my face, dried blood stained my cheeks where Skip's bloodied lips had kissed me and my hair could have passed for dreadlocks the state it was in. I removed my underwear, placed it next to the jersey and turned on the shower. Whislt I waited for it to warm up I searched through the bathroom cabinets for something to wipe my face with and came across a cloth. I drowned it in the warm water of the shower and drained it into the sink, scrubbing my face vigorously hoping that with the make up and blood, the shame and guilt I felt would also disappear. No such luck.

I stepped into the shower and as the warm water gushed over my body I yearned for Beau's touch. Why was he still lingering in my head? After what he'd said to me yesterday and after what he'd done to Skip, I hated him, but there was no denying sexual chemistry still remained. I wanted to feel his thighs wrapping around mine, his pulsating penis slip inside me and his fingers caught up in my hair. I wanted to dig my nails into his back, straddle him and feel the pleasure he gave me ooze through my body. I found myself begging for Beau's touch as my own hands slipped down my body, if Beau wasn't here to pleasure me, I'd have to do it myself. I gasped as my fingers found their way inside my own body and gripped the shower railing for support. The hot water had steamed up the mirror and the windows and as my body grew weaker I began to moan.

Not long after, my body became rigid and the same adrenaline I'd felt when I was with Beau rushed through my body, I closed my eyes gripping tighter to the railing. At the height of my orgasm, somehow, Beau's names escaped my lips in a desperate whisper and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I sat down in the shower and began sobbing, my salty tears mixed with the fresh water from the shower and I scrubbed at my body with shower gel, and then some more, and then some more. I felt dirty and disgusting. How could I have just done that in Skip's house? Especially over someone so repulsive. Half a bottle of shower gel later, red, raw skin and a shower base full of blood I stood up. The cloth in my hand was stained red and the skin on my stomach was peeling, I still felt ashamed and disgusted at myself, but however hard I scrubbed, this feeling wasn't going to go away.

I quickly washed my knotted hair, stepped out of the shower, and wrapped my frail body in a towel. I washed as much blood off my stomach as I could and held it in the towel, wincing in the pain I'd caused. I pulled the towel away from my stomach and stared at the mess I'd made of myself, the skin was tender and raw, it didn't look as bad now that the blood was gone, but it stung to touch it and it looked as if I'd recieved severe burns. I stood infront of the steamed mirror and drew around the shape of my face, added a sad face and wrote sorry underneath. I wasn't sure who I was apologising to, myself, my misty reflection or Skip. I had no choice but to wear yesterdays underwear and after carefully pulling them back over my body, trying to avoid my stomach I slipped Skip's jersey back over my head.