Caught In The Way You Got Me (Book One)

I'll Stay Awake 'Til I Trade My Mistakes So They Fade Away.

Brendon:

I try to remember if I cleaned the apartment recently, hoping it's not a complete disaster for the goddess that just took her life back. She just finished telling me about how overbearing her family was and I'm so proud of the beauty that's about to walk through my apartment door. I turn on the light and the only mess that seems to be around is a couple of jackets on the couch and  pair of shoes in the corner. Nice. She looks around nervously and I chuckle a little bit and turn on the light. She smiles at the room and starts cautiously looking around, the way that a cat does when it gets to a new home. 

"Brendon you have the coolest furniture!" she says excitedly, gently touching the dark wood.

"Um, thanks?" I laugh. She laughs too and lets out a long sigh. "You can get ready for bed. You look exhausted." 

She gives me a small smile and a nod before heading to my restroom and I'm excited to see the make up free and hair in a bun Asteria in an environment that isn't in a hospital. She pops her head out of the doorway and looks at me awkwardly.

"Um, do you mind if I shower?" I give her a warm smile and grab her a towel from the linen closet. She smiles back and shuts the door. As soon as I hear the water turn on I race to my bedroom and start throwing dirty clothes in the hamper and straightening up. I want her to be comfortable. I'm sweating by the time she's out of the shower and out of breath, but my room is clean and now it's my turn. 

I take off my shirt, hoping she won't be able to tell that I just raced through cleaning my bedroom, and walk over to the bathroom. I hesitate before knocking, realizing she has to dry off and change before anything. I should give her some time to just collect herself. It was probably hard for her to see her mom again...I'll just go sit on the couch.

Just as I turn to head to the living room the door opens. When I turn to look at her I can't tell if I want to kiss her or vomit because I'm so nervous that something so beautiful is infront of me...

Her silver hair is more of an onyx gray now that its wet and it falls past her shoulders and collarbone, flooding her chest with dark swirls. Her eyes are wide and her lips are pink, eyelashes prominent as she bats them at me and probably wonders what it is that I'm staring at. Her porcelain skin glistens with moisture and I try to find the willpower to keep a level head and not carry her to my room. 

"Did...Did I take too long?" she asks innocently and bats her eyelashes. I bite my lip. I want her. I need  her. This was a bad idea. I'm going to make a big mistake. 

"N-no," I say and I want to kick myself when I hear my voice crack. "I uh...Need to get...in there..."

She blushes and I have no idea why I can't seem to move and maybe she's thinking the same thing because she's standing there, frozen and gorgeous. She just gives me a small nod and steps outside of the restroom. 

"Is this where your room is?" she asks quietly, pointing to the door across the hall. I nod and she turns to go in. Every single curve that is on this woman has me entranced. Get in the shower before you mess up, Brendon. And make the water as cold as you fucking can.

------

After letting the cold water calm my hormones and following it with warm water to calm my muscles, I wrap my towel around my waist and open the door, hoping she's asleep so that any other kind of temptation is over. When I open the door it's the exact opposite and there's a goddess in one of my t-shirts in my living room. She slides the shirt down her thighs when she sees me to cover up but the movement lights me on fire. Without saying anything I go into my bedroom and put on pajama pants before heading back outside. Okay, Brendon. Calm down. You're touring soon. You can't do this when you're going to go on a tour. It'll ruin everything. You'll be fine. 

"Um, I got an ice pack thawed a little for your hand," she says softly when she sees me. She stands and walks into the kitchen, picking an ice pack up from the counter. When she walks towards me I see the way her hips move under the fabric. I swallow hard and she sits next to me on the couch. My entire body reacts and my eyes close when she grabs my hand. Love emanates from her touch as she holds my hand and ices it, tenderly nursing the bruise from my earlier decision to punch David in the face that I don't regret. It's different now, there's nothing sexual. There's just a craving for more of her affections. I've never felt this and I don't know exactly how to feel about it, but I know that I want to kiss her. I use my free and uninjured hand to tilt her chin up so that she looks at me and I meet her lips with mine slowly. She takes in a deep breath and let's it out slowly and a small moan escapes her mouth. Fuck icing my hand. That's not what I'm focused on right now.

I pull her onto my lap and stand up, carrying her to my room while I kiss her and I lay her on the bed. I lean over her, my body hungry for more but my mind knows to wait. I pull away and make sure to tell her I love her without having to say the words. I'm too afraid to say them. I'm afraid she won't say them back. I kiss her forehead and she closes her eyes and a small smile tugs at the edges of her lips. I kiss the top of her head, her cheeks, her eyelids, her jawline. I lie down next to her and pull her into my chest. Her breathing slows as I pet her hair and I know she's falling asleep. I try to stay awake just to watch her. Everything she does is beautiful. I've done horrible things in the past. I've treated women like trash. And Caroline...what I did to Caroline was awful..I'm not doing that to her...I won't let anyone do that to her. I'll take care of her...I have to take care of her...

"Asteria?" I ask quietly and she doesn't respond. I smile and decide this is a perfect time to practice what I need to say. "Asteria, I know that things have been hell for you since we met. But I want to make them better for you. I want to take care of you. I want to show you and maybe even just myself that...that maybe I'm ready to fall in love...And I want that to be with you...Because I think that...I'm already starting too..."

(A nice long update for you guys! I almost hate to type this at the end because I really was just so excited to get to this point with Brendon and Asteria and I feel like my author's note will ruin it! Thank you guys all for the comments and votes! You're all the absolute best for even taking the time to read and I'm so glad you guys are enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it! It's only 9:30 so I'm going to try to do another update once I'm done cleaning and before I get some homework started. Thank you all so much for being so amazing!)