Caught In The Way You Got Me (Book One)

Hold A Lover Close

Asteria:

Once he says it, once I hear him say it like this, I know that I'm ready. I don't want to wait anymore. He's the one. He's everything I've ever dreamed of and he has been for so long. I just never thought that this could ever be real. I sit myself up slightly and start kissing him so he knows that I don't want to wait anymore. I feel safe with him. I'm happy here. This is what I want. I just have no idea what to do...

His mouth moves down to my chest and my vision starts to blur when I feel his hands go under my bra. He slowly glides his fingers along my skin to my back and unclips it. His kisses a trail back up to my mouth.

"Is this okay?" he asks. I nod and he slides it off my body. His kisses make their way back down my chest and to my breasts and I take in a sharp breath. I feel his tongue along my skin and his soft sucking motions make my stomach leap. It's odd and I feel more vulnerable than I'd like but I don't want to stop it because whatever it is that he's doing is making my body go weak. He pulls away from my chest and kisses me. The kiss is sweet and tender and he tucks a hand behind the nape of my neck. There's a pressure...there and something about knowing that he actually wants me makes me nervous. 

"Do you want me to keep going?" 

"Please," I breathe and he smiles and bites his lip. I smile back and he plants a light kiss on my lips and starts trailing similar kisses down my stomach. Wait, what's going on? His fingertips trail the waistband of my leggings and I can't help but make a small wriggling motion. He slowly starts sliding them off and I feel myself beginning to tremble. 

"You're nervous," he says lightly, letting out a breath of a laugh. He's not making fun of me. He just seems...happy. I nod. I'm the most fucking nervous I've ever been in my life. I have no idea what to do, what he's about to do, or what it's even going to feel like. "Do you want to stop?"

He waits patiently for me to answer and I don't know if I have one...I don't want him to stop...but I'm afraid to keep going. I swear he reads my mind when he pulls the edge of the comforter and, without moving his body out from on top of me, gently lifts me and places me onto the sheets. He pulls the comforter over our bodies and watches me think. Under the safety of the blankets, I regain my courage. 

"I do, but I don't know what's next," I tell him honestly. He kisses my forehead and then lowers more of his weight onto me, still searching my eyes for clarity.

"I'm going to feel you, Asteria," he whispers and before I can ask what it means his hand finds its way between my thighs. I take in a deep breath and I feel myself go hungry for something I've never felt. His pupils dilate and his warm breath on my skin overwhelms my senses. He slides his hand into my underwear and I whimper. His eyes suddenly become alert and he watches me react to his touch. "Does that feel good?"

"Y-yes," I gasp. My breathing is heavy and his slow, gentle movements leave me wanting more. His hand finds a spot that makes my back arch and I gasp again, pleased with the new sensation. "What is that?"

"It's you, love," he whispers and he starts kissing me, muffling my moans with his lips. "I'm going to make you feel so good, Asteria."

His lips stay a small distance from mine and the way that he touches me is making me lose my senses. I close my eyes and I feel my breathing get even faster. There's a pressure building up inside of me.

"Cum for me, love. Let yourself go. Don't be embarrassed." 

I feel a loud moan escape my mouth and I tangle my fingers into the sheets. All of the pressure in my body releases and I feel my muscles tense suddenly and then relax. He slowly stops his movements and takes his hand out of my underwear. He gently rests his body on mine, supporting his weight with his elbows. 

"How did that feel?" he asks.

"What was that?" I ask as I try to catch my breath. A crooked smile makes its way across his face.

"It felt good?" He asks and I nod. "Are you tired? Do you want to stop?"

I shake my head no and he lifts himself off of me and gets out of the bed.

"No, Brendon I want to keep-"

"It's alright, I'm just taking off my pants," he laughs. He steps across the room and brings one of the hotel water bottles to the bedside table. "You might want that later." 

I feel my nerves building up again when I see him in just his underwear, his arousal showing beneath them. He gets back into the bed and gets back on top of me and I start to feel safe once again. I look at the outline of his clavicle, the dents in his broad shoulders. The way his muscles are tense and the way his skin is starting to glisten with a small amount of sweat from the intimacy. Everything about him drives me insane. 

"Are you ready to keep going?" he asks and I nod. I don't know what's next but I trust him enough to know that whatever it is I'm ready for it.

He kisses me again, the way that he does before he drops me off from a date. The kiss is soft, his lips grazing along mine, his hand caressing my cheek. He repeats what he was doing earlier, kissing a small trail down my stomach and he disappears under the covers. I feel his lips on my thighs and I reach underneath for one of his hands. He interlaces his fingers with mine and he uses the other to pull down what was left of the little clothes I was wearing. His kisses go up my thighs and eventually to where I've been craving them and my body shudders. I let out a satisfied moan, this one louder than the others. The way that he's kissing me feels so much better than what he was doing before and I reach underneath the covers to feel him. My hands find his hair and I feel his tongue quicken its pace. My back arches and I try to cover my mouth, hoping to quiet myself but before I can even think about it the sensation of pressure and release sends me into another state of euphoria. I accidentally start closing my legs and as my body finishes relaxing he kisses another trail up to my neck, sucking lightly and nibbling gently. 

I love him. I love him more than anything on this earth and I need to show him. I need to feel him.

"Brendon, please," I say quietly and he nods and keeps kissing my neck. He does these awkward motions and I realize that he's taking off his boxers. He lifts himself off of me again and reaches over the edge of the bed. I see a small foil packet in his hand and he places it next to him. He stares at me and I can tell he's thinking about something but I don't know what and right now I don't care. "Please, Brendon."

I beg him again and he nods. He places his hand back on me and I feel pressure as he pushes his fingers inside of me.

"It hurts a little, huh?" He asks with concern and I nod. It does. This feels completely different. I start to get nervous, remembering that the last time this happened I don't even remember it...I had no control over it...For a quick second I'm surprised it even still hurts after everything. Maybe it won't be so bad...Maybe I'm not even a virgin like I thought I was...

"Asteria," he interrupts my thoughts and stops what he's doing. "Whatever happened, that wasn't this. Please believe me when I say that. What you went through wasn't what's about to happen. I love you. The second you want me to stop, I'll stop. This is your first time. You know that don't you?"

Brendon's mind reading abilities strike again. His voice is filled with desperation. He wants me to know. He wants to make sure I don't see it that way. 

"I do," is all I can manage to say without getting emotional. This time he kisses me the way he does when he hasn't seen me in a long time, like I mean more to him than anything else on this earth.