Caught In The Way You Got Me (Book One)

You Know Should Take It A Day At A Time

Asteria:

It's been over a month since the incident and my wrist is finally healed and my ribs feel amazing. I'm going back to the gym today, ready to get back into my routine. I love the new division that I'm working in. Everyone is so much nicer, but I'm sure a big part of that has to do with what happened at the party and how everyone must feel awful for me. It's not a big deal anymore. I healed and I'm over that portion. I've been hanging out with Greg. We both shared a small laugh at how mad Brendon was once a few weeks passed after the incident. We hadn't realized how funny it was until we started telling his boyfriend the story and then the three of us died in a fit of laughter. 

Today is the day that Panic! comes to a venue here in New York and Pete sent me tickets. I've seen him a few times and he checks in on me. I miss Brendon. I didn't want to try to talk to him over the phone about it.  I want it to be in person. I know it's probably a stupid choice but I want to try again. I think Pete was right. I think it's just a lot of bad timing and maybe now with some time apart and my wounds completely healed, I'll be just fine. I know now that I need to be patient with him. I need to remember that this is something really new for him to do. Hopefully he hasn't moved on already. No Asteria, that's exactly what you need to change. Those assumptions will get you no where.

I meet Greg and his boyfriend Will for lunch at a small cafe. 

"Hey beautiful!" Will shouts as I walk to the table. He gives me a squeeze and Greg does the same. "We ordered for you already."

I thank them as I start sipping on my coffee. 

"So, what time are we leaving tonight?" Greg asks. 

"I was thinking around four, that way we can get a good spot in line," I tell him and he laughs at me. 

"Honey, the tickets Pete gave you mean no line, side stage." My eyes open wide with confusion. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Well it'll probably be second level but yes!"  I'm suddenly really excited. I can use my backstage pass after the show and it'll work out so much better because he'll see me before.

"Do you guys think he's willing to keep trying?" I ask and they look side to side at each other. 

"He'd be an idiot to give you up, especially when you make the best blueberry muffins in existence," Will tells me and I smile. These two are the best thing that ever happened to me. 

"Will, are you sure you can't make it?" I ask.

"Nope! They wouldn't give me the time off of work. You two have fun, I'll be makin' paper," he laughs and we join him. The rest of lunch is spent discussing what time to leave so we can go into the VIP lounge for drinks beforehand. 

Before I know it, Greg is back at my apartment with me helping me decide on what to wear. I set aside a few outfits and he's said no to all but this last one. I put on an oversized plum colored V-neck and tuck the front into my low rise black jeans with the rips in the knees. I pair these with combat booties and an array of long chain necklaces and simple bracelettes. I pull my full curls over my shoulders and step outside of the restroom.

"Finally! The other ones you were trying to hard. This is cute and you can see where it compliments your body. You look great," he says with a smile. "Which jacket?" 

I hold up my black bomber jacket and he nods.

"Thanks, Greg. I'm really nervous. Are you sure this lipstick is a good color?"

"Asteria, I am not that gay. But it looks nice on you, so yes." I laugh and decide that there are worse lip colors that I could have on than this deep sepia. I take one last look in the mirror before grabbing my purse and heading outside. 

When we reach the venue, Greg is beyond excited about the open bar in the VIP lounge and I'd be lying if I said that I couldn't use a drink right now. He orders me an Old Fashioned and himself a Jack and Coke. I down it and ask for another.

"Take it easy! You can't be wasted when you see him!" he laughs. I give him a small smile and try to drink the next one a little bit slower. A few people that I interviewed at the party come up to say hello and that they're glad I'm okay. I suddenly feel like the Fueled By Ramen posterchild and can practically hear that Arms of An Angel song play when people look at me. It becomes overwhelming and I have Greg order himself another drink before we go to side stage to watch the performance. 

I'm hoping more that we're on a balcony but have to face my fears when they guide us to the side of the stage. The lights go out and I take a deep breath. Greg rubs my back, knowing that I'm nervous to see what his reaction will be when he sees me. When the lights start to come back on he looks like he's seen a ghost and he looks awful...He sees Greg and I can see the anger in his eyes. He let's out a small breath of a laugh and get's ready to scream his emotions into the microphone.