Caught In The Way You Got Me (Book One)

If I Ever Leave I Could Learn To Miss You

Asteria:

When I first wake up I have to figure out where I am. I feel the warmth from Brendon's body and realize that we're completely intertwined. His legs surround mine and his arms envelop me, my entire body sinking into his. The warmth and safety make me want to stay in bed but I remember the problems that I need to face...

I gently try to squeeze free from his grasp and he starts to wake up and just pulls me closer with a low groan. I decide to stay in my newfound home, what kind of person is crazy enough to leave this situation? I nuzzle closer into his chest and kiss it without thinking. His eyes shoot open.

"Asteria! You're awake!" he half groans and half yells. I can't help but giggle. "Sorry...Why the fuck am I yelling? What time is it?"

"I don't know, I'm trapped," I say and he smiles at me and kisses my nose.

"Good. Now you're mine. Forever," he says with a smile as he closes his eyes again. My heart flutters at the words, though I'm positive he's joking and too tired to realize what he's saying.

"You're being weird and I have to pee," is all I can manage to say. He makes a face that almost reads as disappointment but slowly untangles his limbs from mine. I give him a quick kiss on the chin before rushing to the restroom. When I see myself in the mirror I almost don't recognize myself. There's a glow under my skin and the dark circles under my eyes seem less obvious. I pull up Brendon's shirt to see how my side is doing. The bruising is nearly completely gone, which I'm happy about but there's still swelling. I can't wait for them to heal already.

When I finish using the restroom Brendon is shuffling around in the kitchen, still shirtless and I realize that I probably took his pajama shirt. I watch him grab things from his refridgerator, his shoulders flexing and loosening, his abs tightening as he starts setting things on the counter. The lines on his hips are incredibly distracting and aim my thoughts right down to his -

"All done?"

"Y- YES! I FINISHED! I'M DONE!" I scream, panicked. Asteria what the hell are you doing? He laughs at me and we spend the rest of our morning eating the waffles that Brendon makes us.

We're both grateful that we get to deal with everything on a Saturday, this is the first time my life's issues have been somewhat convenient. We get ready and I can't bring myself to go back to my apartment to visit my mother and remind her that I'm not going back to California until I finish school. Once I'm done with breakfast, I do my make up and add soft waves to my hair before sliding on my burgundy dress and boots. Brendon seems to like the outfit, when I walk out his mouth falls open. Sometimes it's still so surreal to me that he even knows my name.

"You look so beautiful," he whispers into my neck and I feel chills run through my body. He kisses me and we head to my apartment...

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"You have shown me that you truly can't take care of yourself, Asteria. First the fraternity boy incident and now this," my mother says as she motions toward my body. I look at her confused and turn to Davey, hoping he'll have an answer. Brendon steps between my mother and I.

"I need to talk to you," he tells her and my mother rolls her eyes before going to my room. Before Brendon goes in with her he shoots Davey a glare that I didn't know he was capable of creating.

"Davey, what's she talking about?" I ask him. He looks at me, angry, and guilt seeps in when I notice the large bruise on his jaw and how swollen it is.

"Oh, so you're talking to me now?"

"I never wasn't. But I'm pissed off at what you told her."

"I only told her the truth, Asteria. He's going to leave once he gets in your pants. The only way that I know that he hasn't already is because he's still fucking here."

"Davey if he was here just to sleep with me then I'm pretty sure we would have had sex last night!" I shout.

"Asteria! Wake up! This is why such awful things happen to you! You're so ignorant! You're so blissfully unaware of what people are like! Do you think he's going to try to have sex with someone with broken ribs?! Do you know how sex works?! I'm pretty positive that that kind of thing could kill the mood!" He tugs his hair as he screams at me. What if Davey is right? No...He can't be right...Right?

"David! We talked last night! That's not what he's after!"

"What makes you so sure?!" We're both screaming and I doubt Brendon and my mom are able to have any kind of conversation with how loud we're yelling.

"Because I threw myself at him last night! I was practically begging for it! And he said no! He said he'd have to earn it!"

"Asteria, he's probably been with hundreds of girls! Are you really okay giving yourself to someone like that?! You need to stop acting like a stupid teenager and listen to the people who care about you! I'm tired of having to take care of you when you always make mistakes! I'm exhausted, Asteria! You have no idea how hard it is to take so much time and effort into taking care of someone like you!"

I start to cry. He's right. He's always taking care of me and I can't do anything for him. I'm always a handful for him. I never saw it as trouble for him, he just seemed like he liked doing it and being there for me...but now I know...

"I didn't realize I was such a chore for you," I tell him while I wipe the tears that are falling from my face. He gets up to comfort me. "No. Don't. You don't have to take care of me anymore."

"Asteria that's not-"

"No. It is. I saw it. It was all over your face," my slow tears have picked up and turned into sobs. "I'll be okay, Davey. You don't have to take care of me anymore."

I grab my bag and keys and leave the apartment. I just need to be alone. I don't want to be around him. I don't want to be around anyone. I get in my car and drive to the only place in New York City where that's possible right now, hoping that I'll be where no one can find me.