redemption: harry styles

Chapter Sixty Five

// five days before the incident //

The room was dark when I woke up, the thick curtains cutting off the light coming from the balcony.

"It's okay," I muttered and shoved my hands under the blanket. Harry's lips were pressed together and he lowered his head.

"Nah, not really," he said in a cold voice. "I find self-harm as important as psychosis."

I gulped and stared at the duvet, not wanting to look at him. He was too calm. I'd rather him be screaming at me.

"What made you do it?" he asked slowly.

"I don't want to talk about this," I said. "It's not even important, okay?"

He rolled his eyes. "Actually, it's more serious than you think, Evelyn," he shot back.

"Harry, please?" I muttered.

"Honestly, I need to know what made you inflict pain on yourself," he said bitterly and pointed at my arm. His jaw clenched. "Was it me? Was it because I forced you into a life of pain and murder?"

"I chose this life because I love you, idiot," I screamed.

One of Harry's arms was outstretched over my waist, his face buried into the pillow behind me. I could hear his soft breaths behind me. I stared around the room, the only light coming from the television--which we had forgotten to turn off--and the digital clock in this room. It read 7:02 A.M.

"Really?" Harry said disbelievingly. "Because I gave you the decision to become a fugitive?"

"I could have told the police or something," I said, tightening my hands into fists. "You might be able to get away with a few things but they're not as stupid as you think, you know. I could have said something to them. I could have said something to my parents before you did."

"No, you couldn't," he insisted.

"I swear I fucking could have," I whispered. "Has it ever downed on you? You're not smarter than they are, we'll probably get caught one day."

"Evelyn," he sighed angrily.

"I could have killed myself," I blurted.

He opened his mouth then closed it.

"I could have..." I shook my head, "ended it because I knew being with you meant killing others, and to prevent that I could have killed myself. Okay, people aren't who they seem." He stood in front of me, still as stone with the exception of his chest rising and falling softly. "I'm obviously not depressed or anything at the moment, but maybe I just don't like this life, maybe I didn't care about being with you if it meant hurting others," I looked away from his hard gaze. "I could leave you, but I wont, because I love you. I will go through all this shit of hurting innocent people and robbing whatever or lying and killing cops just because I love you. I already-" my throat closed up, "k-killed someone trying to save a criminal I barely knew."

His lips parted and he stared at me in awe. He looked like he was about to say something, but he closed his mouth.

I sighed and looked down so he couldn't see my face.

"Do you know that locked room in the house I stayed at?" Harry said quietly, looking at the ground, too.

I stared at him.

"You know what I'm talking about," he said and sighed. "There was a big padlock on it. I know the, um, number combination, obviously. I put it there. But I made sure to never go back in there."

It was too early to wake up for me, plus I slept only two hours ago, and I felt sleepy, but every time I shut my eyes when conscious I just remembered the sad look on Harry's face when he confessed his suicidal thoughts to me.

"There isn't anything there but a stool on the ground and a rope hanging from the ceiling," he said. "I thought about it every day, I swear." A tear slid down his cheek, surprising me. "I...When I used to tell you I killed for pleasure--it was to scare you. I don't feel anything when I kill people nowadays because my mind is fucked up, but it's not like I enjoy it."

Harry sighed and gave me a light smile. "I stopped going in there every day, thinking. Today is the day I'll be free ever since I met you. You literally made me think life was worth living. Do you understand how fucking strange that is to me? A guy who usually doesn't give a shit? I love you." He swallowed. "I just needed someone, I guess."

My eyes were wide as I stared ahead, low voices coming from the T.V., dull light flashing over my face. I actually chose a life where I'd kill just to be with the one I love. And I still didn't care, but I knew it wasn't right.

-:-:-:-

Hey guys! So we are close to the ending of this book, its like 14 chapters away, you might think its a lot, but trust me, it'll pass by super fast. So I'll probably be updating less. I'm still gonna be updating every day, for the most part, but I'll be updating less chapters per day now, so like 1 chapter a day, sometimes 2 chapters. Because I don't wanna be in a rush, updating these chapters. I wanna enjoy typing it, while it still lasts (I don't even know if that makes sense, haha). So yeah. :)

Feel free to like and comment.