A Lingering Silence

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"You're going somewhere ?"

Ciel, who was leaning against the wall, had an nonchalant look on her face. Although carefree, it was feigned. Behind that carefree grin of hers is a frown. A hidden reluctance. Ciel nodded her head slowly, gazing up at the night sky. "For how long ?" She opened her mouth of speak, but no words came out. She closed it and looked down at her hands. "Hmm.. I wonder", she replied softly. "I don't know." I walked over to her and ruffled her hair, giving her a sympathetic smile. Ciel didn't move. "You're worried, aren't you ?", I had asked her. "Are you afraid of going away again ?" I leaned against the wall and stood beside Ciel, looking towards the sky. It wasn't exactly a lie, now was it ? 

"Shiori", she said after a momentary pause. I kept myself staring at the night sky. "Hm ?", I asked. "Aren't you.. afraid ?" I took a deep breath and had softly sighed into the night. "Of ?" From the corner of my eye, I could see Ciel watching me with an observant look on her face. "What'll happen next." I glanced down at my hands before closing them. "Tell me Ciel", I mumbled in almost a whisper, "Am I still a child to you ?" She shook her head and moved away from the wall so that she was standing in front of me. In the dim lighting of the area, her eyes seemed to gleam. "The 'you' from 'then' and the 'you' from 'now' are different", was what she said. "However, things from then and now are different. It's become more dangerous." "It'll be okay", was my naive response, "I can protect myself."

The indifferent and stern expression of Ciel slowly made an appearance. There was a gust of wind as a cloud passed over us, making it even darker than usual. I can't see her eyes anymore.

"You say that you're able to protect yourself", she said, "But someday, when someone you care about so dearly is being taken away from you.. will you be able to protect them ? If someone was trying to kill that someone, would you be able to keep them from dying ?"

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When I closed the door of my locker, the class bell rang in the background. I was officially late to class now. I wondered if Sensei would excuse me. Not that it mattered or anything.

 After Ciel's departure, I was left standing there in the dark alone. I remained there, thinking about what she had told me. Even if you say this now, will it remain the same or will it change ? The first person that came into my mind was Mizuki. After all, he was there now. Back then, I only focused on protecting myself but now.. I had him to watch over. I sighed at the thought. Leave it to Ciel to point things out in such obvious ways. While walking to class, I passed by Izumi's clubroom. It felt empty and abandoned, seeing the usual lights be off for almost two weeks. A few days before, Wakahisa came crying to me, telling me about Izumi's sudden leave for important matters again. I wonder why she even bothered to come to me for her conciliation. So like the good person, I was, I had to deal with her and her tears for Izumi. If Izumi was here now, she'd be proud. She had Wakahisa worrying over her and her wellbeing. Ah, did I mention that Shuichi was also out ? He left last week, telling me that it was something that involved.. oh I don't know. It was something about going with Urameshi Yusuke and Kuwabara Kazuma to do an errand of some sort. Shuichi was never the type to give me details. All he told me before he left was, "Do something like cheat and I'll do more than last time."

I sighed. 

For some reason, it felt like I was being abandoned. With Ciel and Shuichi gone, all I had was Wakahisa and Mizuki. Not that there was anything wrong with them. It felt like I was being limited. Sometime felt off to me.

Someone brushed past me which caused me to look over my shoulder. My nonchalant mood disappeared the moment I noticed Sara standing there. There she was, waiting for me to notice her. When Izumi disappeared, she seemed to be the least surprised. No one seemed to notice her feigned worry over Izumi. That girl could care less about her.

"Oh, if it isn't Hanamura", she said with a smirk, "Have you been well ?" I forced a smile. "I have", I replied softly. I planned to continue moving so that I could get to class, but she stopped me. She was trying to taunt me, attempting to prevent me from leaving. I'll be late, I thought as she delayed even more of my precious time. Sara walked up to me and circled me, as if she were looking for something. "You're covered in the scent of blood", she said when she finally stopped moving around me. "This is surprising." So she can tell ? Those wounds are still healing... "I don't know what you're talking about", I replied, trying to lie to her. I wanted to her to believe in that lie, but I knew it wasn't possible. She took a step towards me and slightly raised my right arm. From there, she applied a small amount pressure. What a mischievous girl she was. I didn't finch at the pain in my arm. Sara must've noticed because she dropped my arm and moved so that she stood beside me. From there, she used that shoulder as if it were an arm rest. I could feel that applied pressure from her. She was purposely shifting around to see if I faltered. Again, I didn't wince to the pain. "Are you expecting something ?", I asked after an awkward silence. She moved away with a look of dismay on her face. "Nothing really", she replied, looking disappointed from the results. Sara stepped back and turned into the opposite direction of where I was headed. She peered over her shoulder and raised a hand.

"Oh, Hanamura", she said before we headed separate ways. "Tsukiya is waiting for you."

I grinned as I walked away. At the mention of Tsukiya, I remembered Shuichi. The day he had bit me, I completely lost my faith in my feelings. After he bit me, I tried to hit him, but he caught my hand. A distraught expression lingered on his indifferent face as we looked into each others eyes. I was confused as he pulled me into a hug. "Shuichi..?", I had asked. There was a pause before he pulled away. I couldn't see his eyes, so I brushed his hair away from his face. For a short minute, I thought I saw a look of doubt on his face. But as usual, it was short-lived and faint. Afterwords, he rested his forehead on mine and sighed. "You're such a troublesome Klutz", he whispered softly. He pulled away from me and pointed towards a mirror. "It's gone now", he had said. "That mark is gone now."

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So when I arrived to class today, I ended up getting a small lecture about being late to class. Sitting alone, I looked out the window and watched as the evening breeze blew by the rustling tree branches.

My, what am I to do now, I wonder ?

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