Beneath those Words

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The longer we wait for the days to pass, the faster it'll be for something to happen. I'm not willing to take any risks with the Council. They shouldn't be overlooked. 

Surely, we all know that.

It's been so long since I've seen a storm like this. My, how refreshing it is.

I listened as heavy droplets of rain collided into the outer wall of the apartment complex. In some ways, it sounded like needles. I aimlessly stared at the clock and watched as it turned 8:30. By now, it had gotten dark in our little apartment. I didn't bother to turn on the lights. The memories of yesterday were still fresh in my mind. It was the only thing I could think of at the moment. It was also one of the things that I wanted to forget. Since I was sitting beside the slightly fogged window, I sighed and leaned back into the chair, closing my eyes in the process.

Yesterday, I couldn't get any sleep. That night, I was left rethinking about the future plans. In some ways, I was beginning to doubt myself. I'm not supposed to do that.

Where was the trust at a time like this ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shuichi stared at the simple designed ceramic tea cup in his hands with an unreadable expression on his face. Just moments before, I finally decided to tell him about my motives. Just like Asai had said. The reason to why I decided to stay in Makai. And as I had expected, he didn't really have much of a reaction when I finished. How like him to be so indifferent.

"And so ?", he asked in a bitter tone, "What do you plan to do now ?" His words were sharp and hostile. I wasn't surprised. I couldn't blame him for sounding like that either. "I plan to continue from where I stand", I replied firmly. "I don't plan to go back now." I could see Shuichi's hands slightly tighten around the ceramic cup. And then there were those words, "I won't stop you". Wide eyed, I stared at him. Shuichi peered up at me with his slicing emerald colored eyes, looking somewhat agitated . "I won't stop you", he dryly said again, "You've already seemed to have made a choice, so I won't bother. Knowing you, theres nothing that would get you to change your mind about this anyways. But tell me this.."

"Do you know who you'll be standing up against ? Are you aware of who you're going to play this game with ? You're basically asking to die."

"I'm well aware."

He smirked. "Jah, then tell me another thing", he asked slowly, "Is this all worth it ? Are you willing to throw away your life for something like this ?" I was instantly reminded of that dream. "Shuichi ?", I asked as I tilted my head to the side, "Do you remember what I asked you not that long ago ?" "About wanting to protect someone ?" I nodded my head. "If someday, you had said", he replied without a second thought, "What would you do if someone important was suddenly taken away ?" I sympathetically smiled at him. He scowled. "But how does that have anything to do with you ?", he said sternly, "They were none of your concern." "Until now", I replied. I turned away and faced the window. Like this moment, there was nothing more than darkened clouds in the sky. Gloomy and unsettling. I reluctantly glanced down at my hands. For some reason, I could see a deep shade of crimson on them. "So then you're willing to die for something like this ? Not only are you an idiot, you don't seem to be able to understand the situation !" He was clearly irritated, but his voice lowered slowly. "What good will it do to save them ?", he had said, "How does it help you if you're going to die ?"

"Sometimes, there will be things that you won't be able to explain", I mumbled softly. "And when that happens, what can you do ?"

Silence. There was no response from Shuichi. All there was, was a heavy tension. From the reflection of the window, I could see that he was staring at the clock that hung on the kitchen wall. I didn't know what to make of his expression. It was just as unreadable as before.

Such a frightening feeling this was.

Reluctantly, I glanced over my shoulder. "I also... don't expect you to help me either", I said softly. "If you were to ever get caught by the Council, then I would never forgive myself for allowing that." I guess that it was at this point that I knew what Seiji and Kaori felt like.

It must've been horrible. Especially for them, who could do nothing. But in my case, it was different. They wanted me. If I could just manage to...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Then do as you like. I don't care anymore."

"Honestly, you're too careless."

There was a loud thud. When I opened my eyes, I was on the ground, looking up at the ceiling. I sheepishly stared out into the darkened room before breaking out into a idiotic grin. I guess I must've dosed off or something, because it seemed like I couldn't even manage to stay on the chair today. I sighed in dismay. 'Oh well', I thought as I remained on the ground. It was more comfortable like this anyways. Outside, I could hear the storm continued. I frowned and took a deep breath. Again, I closed my eyes.

I didn't know why, but those words were so... painful. What did they mean to me and why were they so..? As the lightning struck of the other side of the wall, I could see nothing more than the shadows of the objects in the room. I sluggishly sat up and turned towards the window. In my head, a countdown began.

At this point, all I could do was prepare for the worst. They were demons. I was a human. Just by comparing that, there was already a huge gap between us. If I wasn't careful, then I'd be killed the moment I appeared in their presence. In addition, I was going to be going in alone. Once everything began, I'd have no one else to depend on but myself. I frowned.

To this plan, there were only two goals that I had in mind. One, was that we would safely be able to rescue them and bring them back. And two, that we would be able to escape with our lives. At least, in this case, them. I had a strong feeling that I'd have to stay back for a while. When that happens, I'll leave the rest to Asai. There is actually one thing I question.

Why me ? Of all things, it had to be like this.


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