|| A Bouquet of Red and White Roses || [Yu Yu Hakusho Fan-fic] {Edits}

Past Frustrations

Weight. It was all just weight. I couldn't even get myself to sit up anymore. Everything was too heavy. Moreover, I was beginning to loose my focus. It was hard to breath.

Out of frustration, I could hear Xeila punch the wall. I assumed that it cracked too because there was a faint echo that happened to run though the room. Once again, we were back in that large, spacious gray room. However this time, it was just Xeila and I. By the time I heard the wall crack, I was laying on my back with my eyes closed. Half of me wanted to pass out, but the other half of me wanted to stay awake. I slowly opened my eyes to see the blinding lights that hung above me. Surrounding me, blood. Mine, to be exact. From what I could see, it seemed to be everywhere. And it was much worse from when I was trying to dodge Eion and Xeila. I was also covered in it. Nearby, I could hear Xeila moving about, most likely agitated from my lack of effort to fight her back. This time, I really didn't try. It was a bad choice.

"Why !?", she shouted from somewhere to my left, "Why're you so weak and pathetic !?" I stared at the ceiling, too tired to get a response. That only made her angrier. I should've realized. She came up from beside me and kicked me on the side, where I was still recovering. I flinched from the sharp pain and took slow steady breaths to collect myself. "If you're a decoyed guardian then why aren't you fighting back to save yourself !?", she added, "Aren't you supposed to be strong !?" I knew that she was bound to do it again, so I mentally prepared myself for the upcoming pain. But it never came. And why ? Well it was because the door opened up.

"That's enough", a familiar voice called out sternly.

I relaxed myself and sighed in relief. I was ready to lose myself to the pain. Everything was beginning to numb. Xeila turned around, glaring. "What do you want Luurè ?", she snapped. I closed my eyes, trying to endure the waves of pain that ran throughout my body. "Your job was to get information", he replied in a calm, collect tone, "I don't recall you being ordered to kill her." I waited for her response. "That's her fault for not speaking", she hissed, probably looking my way. "How do I know if she's lying ? How do I know if she's telling the truth !?" "But killing her wouldn't help you answer any of those questions now would it ?", he asked. No response. It surprised me to hear Luurè sound so serene at a time like this. Serene yet so.. cold. His steps moved closer. "Go back and fix yourself", he ordered in a nonchalant tone, "And if you need more time to collect yourself, use it. If I were you, I'd be careful. You know better than to get your emotions caught up in a situation like this. Don't confuse yourself by thinking that she's the person you hold a grudge towards to. Understand ?" Like before, no response. I just heard a set of footsteps move away and then the door closed. I wearily opened my eyes to see Luurè casually standing over me with an observant gaze.

"Still alive ?", he asked me. His question caused me to break out into a sheepish grin. "Perhaps", I replied weakly. "Can you get up ?" I slightly turned my head to the right and tried to move. The best I could do was  lift my hand at least 5 inches off of the ground before I gave up. I sighed in dismay. "Guess not", I mumbled wearily. I watched as Luurè knelt down beside me and grabbed my hand. From there, he pushed me up just enough so that I could sit up. Before I knew it, he was carrying me. I was too weak to fight against him, moreover, protest. No that it mattered at this point. The pain only seemed to worsen. The wounds that Xeila had placed on me began to bleed again. "You know..", I muttered, "You're going to be covered in blood.. I don't suggest this." Luurè chuckled. "It doesn't matter", he replied, "It'll be more difficult if I allow you to die." I watched as shadows passed by us.

"I know you're not obligated to tell me anything", I said slowly, "But why does Xeila have a stronger.. feeling of hatred towards me ?" Luurè chuckled. "So you noticed ?", he asked. I slightly nodded. "Ever since I arrived.. to this place. It's been like that." 

"Well since you asked, I guess I might as well just tell you some parts", he said after a while, "Until then, try not to fall asleep and die on me. That'd be quite troublesome." "Right", I mumbled softly. "I won't."

"I don't remember how long it's been since then, but before the Kekkai Barrier was created to exist between the two worlds, there was a demon named "Kana" who worked for the Council." There was a pause. I was too busy focusing on the ceiling to notice that there was a stern expression on his face. "Xeila and Kana were very close to each other. In a way, a pair that did most of their things together. So when the time came to where Kana "left" the council, it left a large hole for Xeila. Imagine that, being left behind by someone you cared for so deeply. From what I recall, Xeila was the last person to see Kana before she died. Ever since then, Xeila hasn't forgiven Kana for leaving. In a way, I guess you resemble Kana to Xeila. Although I don't see how you resemble her one bit. Either way, that's probably the reason to why she has that type of attitude towards you." I sighed and closed my eyes. "I see", I mumbled. It's so hateful.

In my head, I could hear laughing. Though, it was forced and unreal. Feigned.

Was it painful for you too ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Due to my inability to focus on what was going on, I soon came to realize that I was always leaving myself wide open for trouble. Wasn't the point of this entire thing to live and then leave when finished ? Although there was something I wanted to find out before that happened. 

When Luurè spoke about Kana, there was a slight hint of hatred in his voice. I usually wouldn't have picked up on it if it hadn't been for the fact that I recognized it. As a child, I always heard that type of tone. A kind voice with a sharp sting. Did he hate her as bad as Xeila did ? I looked up at the ceiling and slowly closed my eyes. Moreover, Luurè never asked me if I knew about how the Kekkai Barrier was created. Surely, he would've asked but he didn't. Was it also because it was a topic that made them remember the pain of being betrayed by someone they cared for so dearly ? I opened my eyes and scowled at myself.

But of course. Even I knew that feeling. However in their case, they would never be able to fix it. Sotaru was alive and well. I could still try to change the fact that he has a strong dislike for me. The Council on the other hand, Kana is gone. There is no way to go back and fix anything.

For them, the past is the past. Theres nothing to change that.