|| A Bouquet of Red and White Roses || [Yu Yu Hakusho Fan-fic] {Edits}

Once Again, Like Before

When I opened my eyes again, I was in another place. Once again, it was the Human World. The place known as "home".

For a while, I stood there, staring at nothing. I knew that I had to figure out where I was but.. I collapsed on the ground and took a deep, unsteady breath. A cold gust of wind blew by me as everything became a blur. I looked up at the night sky and forced a smile as I thought of Oka.

I'm finally home, I thought. But you're still not with me...

There was a tug on my sleeve which quickly brought me back to reality. "Nee-san ?", Seiji's son asked slowly, "Are.. you okay ?" "Hmm ?" He hesitated. "You're crying.. why're you crying ?" I quickly brought my hands up to my face and covered it. So I was.. I took a deep breath and sighed, feeling sheepishly stupid. I slowly forced myself to stand. Afterwords, I feigned a grin to show that I was fine. "Don't worry.. there's nothing", I sniffled, "Nee-san is okay." "Ah..", he mumbled. "Okay." There was another tug on my other sleeve. "Where are we ?", Kaori's sister asked. I reached for their hands and held them. I glanced around and assumed that we were probably around the outskirts of the city, judging by the large amount of trees that were around us. Actually, I was well aware of where we were. "Come with me", I said as we began walking. "We'll be home soon... You'll be home soon."

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As I had expected, it had taken us about a total of 45 minutes to reach Genkai's Shrine before the sun came up. Maybe around.. 4:57 in the morning. When Genkai saw us, her first reaction was to determine if I was real or not. I don't recall what she did, but after she figured out that I was the real thing, she immediately took us in and went from there. While she was treating the children, I happen to dose off from the exhaustion and eventually woke up around 5:35 in the afternoon. By then, I was already covered in fresh bandages. The only things that stayed with me was the heavy weight of my body and the sharp pains of the wounds that needed to be healed. Another thing was.. the thought of Oka. I was aware of why she stayed, but it bothered me to an extent to where it was beginning to feel lonely again. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to relax myself before I got the chance to break down again. That was when I heard the door to the room open up. Due to my sluggish feeling, I didn't open my eyes to see who it was. All I heard were footsteps that were moving towards me.

The more I listened for those footsteps, the more people there seemed to be in the room. "How long has she been asleep ?", this familiar, concerned voice asked. The other voice, whom I identified as Genkai replied, "..a week." At first, I was confused. But as they continued to talk, I realized that time really did pass by quicker than I thought. The weather seemed to be much colder than the last time I checked and the skies seemed to be covered in a blanket of clouds. 

"Have you told Ciel about this yet ?", that same, concerned voice asked. "Oka told me to come and check in on Shiori. She's been uneasy ever since she watched her leave Makai." The mention of Oka made my heart sink. I still wasn't over the fact that she stayed behind. "No, not yet", Genkai said slowly, "I plan to wait until she wakes up. I feel that if I were to tell Ciel now, that she'd go and do something reckless. You know how Ciel is. She'll blame herself for letting this happen..." That wasn't a lie. Botan forced a laugh. "That's true", she chuckled, her voice strained. There was momentary pause. "Well for now, it looks like the best we can do now is wait. Before I came here, I actually checked up on the others. They're all gathered at their place and are just as lively as usual. Even the guests that Oka brought in seem to be getting along with the others just fine." Genkai sighed in relief. "Thats good", she replied. "However I have a feeling that they'd want to return back to Makai as soon as they can, given that they had no choice but to come here when Oka saved them." "Yes..", Botan's voice trailed off. "I plan to take them back myself. Those two aren't that bad. If Oka was trusting enough to bring them here, then I won't question it. I would've asked Ciel but.. there are too many things going on." 

"What about Kurama ? How is he doing so far ?" I've heard that name before. But I can't seem to remember right now. I wonder.. where have I heard it before...? Botan sighed. "I don't really know myself", she mumbled, "Because when I went over to check up on them, he wasn't there. However, the day that they returned, he seemed to be really skeptical about something. As if there was something really bad that was poking at him." "Oh, I see", Genkai replied softly. "That boy is extremely sharp. He must've realized that something was wrong the moment they were brought back. I wonder if he's worried about her. It's not like him to sound so worried. That boy is usually with a nonchalant expression." Botan chuckled softly. "But of course", she said in a mischievous tone. "After all, she is the love of his life."

I instantly thought about the day we separated from each other. That day, he said nothing to me. We just separated in silence, with no words to exchange. The thought of it made my heart sink even more. Could I really say that he still cared for someone like me ? After all, he was against the plan from the very beginning. But I couldn't blame him for his choice. Now that I thought about it, was I even worth the time ? Was I still worth being loved by someone like him ? Someone who wasted her time trying to find a way to fix everything and a person who tried to conserve himself from getting involved with things that had to do with other people. Now that I thought about it.. they were always in different worlds.

So then why ?

I don't seem to know anymore.

When their voices were no longer there, and I was all alone again, I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling with heavy emotions that stirred in my heart. I slowly sat up and covered my eyes.

Why was it that I was crying now ? After so long of keeping such a brave front, why was it that I finally broke down now ? Was everything too much for me now ?

No, that's not it. Her voice echoed in my head. Open your eyes. Don't over think. 

I slowly placed a hand over my mouth to prevent myself from being heard. If I saw my reflection now, I would be reminded of that lost child from long ago. Her words made me cry ever harder.

You still have a place in this world. It's okay to cry every once and a while. I'm envious of you for being able to do so. It's okay, you can share this pain with me. You're not alone anymore.