Something About You

1- Cliché.

After I graduated from business in college my dad put me in charge of the main building of his company in New York, and believe me, this is what I wanted. I have other passions but this is one of the biggest. I wanted a life filled with good things and by saying that I also mean running this company. This has given me the confidence I needed, it makes me feel powerful, I have almost everything. A nice house, a good job, money, I'm basically my own boss, but you know, not everything can be as perfect as we wish for...

I've been dating guys over and over –wait but, this is so cliché...I know everything is about love, about finding the right one, and all them type of things, I have a heart, beside from wanting all these things I already got, i also want a family, a loving and caring husband, little ones running all over the place...you know, the typical things and no one seems to meet my standards to what I look for in a man.

Considering I have everything, I don't actually focus on anything but how the person is on the inside. Literally, how they are, how they act, all of that is what matters for me, of course I care about other things but it's like that's attractive but not completely, I just can't find that one person that seems to have what Im looking for. I gave up, it's been like this for a while.

Instead, I'm just trying to focus on other things, since my last relationship fucked me up so badly I decided I'd just let it flow however it has to.

You can tell that my last relationship changed me somehow, or a lot, I'm a hopeless romantic, or at least I used to be, I used to be different, I used to be the sweetest girl you ever knew, but I exposed myself too much to the wrong people and got hurt too bad. I'm mean and I overreact almost always. I decided I needed to be tough so I wouldn't get played anymore. The sweet side sometimes shows up, because at the end of the day that's how I am.

When you give too much to people, they sometimes just take advantage of it. Of course not everybody is like this, but how would you even know?

Break ups, everybody goes through them. But for me, my last one was... devastating.

Isn't it stupid?

Ryan Guzman was his name who I met in a party thrown by my friend from college, Loren. I thought he was the one. It's so useless talking about him, but anyways, I fell in love with this guy, he could offer me everything I could have ever wished for, I was happy with him, I loved the way he made me feel. But after like three years of a relationship, everything started to fade away. I couldn't take it anymore. The last few months together were awful for me.

He is a businessman, he's a producer and have his own record.

One day, I was sitting on the sofa, just waiting for him, worried because he wouldn't pick up his phone. I was seriously so worried because he'd do this all the time and it would just go over the same asking him where he was and how worried I was, he was "working" yet he'd arrive all bothered or just smelling like perfume, smelling like alcohol, sometimes he was sober but still annoyed and he would just be annoyed by my presence and pay all his problems on me. But it was that one night when he did it for the first time.

// okay so, I know it's short as fck, but I'll post another one later. guys, I'd really appreciate if you could vote and comment what you think, it's really important for me.

– α.