Take Your Hand In Mine {Andley}

Chapter 64: Ashley's POV

Well, why did you kiss me then?" I ask, taking a surprised - and slightly insulted - step backwards.

He starts to explain himself, but then I hear the door slam open, banging against the wall.

"Ashley what the FUCK was that?" Andy yells.

"Exactly what you said." Even though it's difficult, I stare Andy down, staying calm. "You thought something was going on with me and Jake - so I made it happen."

I fold my arms defiantly. He can't be mad at me, it's his fault this happened in the first place.

"You know that's not what I meant!" He thunders.

"Well you could have at least believed me when I said that it wasn't true!" I can't believe we're having trust issues this early on in the relationship. Is this even worth it?

"Why would I believe you when you've been acting so fucking secretive the last few days? What could I have expected from someone like you?"

Then I snap.

"Okay, so I was trying to do something nice for you - and you just have to go and turn it into something it's not. I'm done."

"Fine - then so am I!" Andy storms out of Jake's house, swinging the door closed forcefully.

A heavy silence descends over his apartment. My breathing feels labored, like someone's holding a rag over my mouth.

"Ashley-" Jake starts, but I push away his outstretched hand, cutting him off.

"Not now." I feel my voice wobble. Shit. Speeding up, I finally reach the spare bedroom and shut the door behind me, launching myself onto the soft, downy mattress.

I let myself cry.

Welcoming, forgiving, the sheets take me in as one of their own - if only I was with Andy. Andy. The name rings in my head, reverberating like the hum of crickets.

I don't even know who's to blame anymore. I want him so bad, but of course he doesn't see that. Of course he thinks the worst of me.

And so he should! I know I'm a worthless piece of shit but he doesn't have to rub it in like that - Andy, if only we'd got together under different circumstances, everything could have worked out. I'm sorry I screwed it all up.

I don't know how long I stayed there, sobbing at my own stupidity, but eventually I get tired and begin to fall asleep.

Just as I feel myself slipping off to sleep, I hear Jake knock gently and mumble my name at the door; but it's too late, I'm already drifting off into a mess of tears and nightmares.