What Should I Do?|Seventeen|

Chapter Thirty-Six.

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I KNOW IT'S NOT 20 NOVEMBER YET BUT READ THE NOTE BELOW.
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Jihoon's pov:

I looked at Soonyoung who was standing infront of me,waiting for me to answer his question.

"Well,What are you waiting for? You know I won't let you ruin our moments with Younghee",He glared at me.

I sighed, "Look,Soonyoung. This might be long but I'm willing to tell you everything..."

He stopped glaring and nodded his head, "Tell me and I'm willing to listen to everything eventhough it's long".

I hold my hands together and took a deep breath.

"I..I regretted my rude behaviour towards Younghee. I know I've done many horrible things,like calling her name and let her suffered. But to tell you the truth,I was never in the plan where Seungcheol hyung and Joshua hyung brainwashed them. They asked me to join with them and brainwashed Younghee but I refused, eventhough I hated Younghee for escaping back then,some part of me understand why...Remember,the day where Younghee self-harmed herself? I didn't said anything and get out from the room first right? It was because..When..when I looked at her on the bed, everything crushed down to me. Her pale lips and her injured wrist made me thought to myself..Do I wished to see her like that? Do I wished for..for her death? As I walked out from the room,I teleport myself away from Seungcheol and Joshua...I remember the day when Wonwoo first fed on Younghee,Remember I caught her on time just as she passed out. As I recalled back that moment,I realised how strong and brave Younghee was to let Wonwoo fed on her...and how strong she was facing her own new life...I knew what kind of words Joshua said to Younghee,Heck,I almost punched him on his face..I was hurt that she actually believe on what Joshua said. I had to acted like I hate Younghee because of Seungcheol..I was afraid he might hurt or even attacked her because almost everyone takes her side..That is why,I had to.",I looked down at the ground as I heard nothing from Soonyoung.

"Younghee..I remember her bright self.You know,I sometimes listened to her conversation with Mal and the others just to see her smile and listened to her cute laughter and her beautiful sliver dee green eyes would always sparkles..Then when I heard she changed into emotionless..I realised how much I miss those...How much..a jerk I am to let be like that..I wanted to help her and you guys to bring the bright Younghee back but as I recalled my behaviour towards her,it stopped me and hunted me down..I realised how pathetic I am and how weak I was to let those horrible moments to hunt me and stopping me..",I dropped on my knees on the ground as tears flows down.

I never cried this hard before for someone.

I felt a hand on my shoulder,I lifted my head up and saw Soonyoung who was holding back his tears,I wiped away my tears with my sleeve.

"I know how you felt,Jihoon..That same feelings you felt happened to me when I saw Younghee crying infront of me..it hurt as hell to see that..That's why I decided to help that girl and protect her..I wanted to kept her warmth in her..Jihoon,I know it's not my place to said that Younghee could forgive you..I just don't know..she isn't fully recovered yet..."

I shake my head and let out a sad chuckled, "I know it's already impossible for me to get a second chances from her.. I told her..I told her that I hate her..."

Soonyoung sighed and slowly pulled me to stand up on my feet,"Jihoon..Don't said that yet if you haven't try..God..I don't even know what to do to help this.. Some part of me told me to just let Younghee hate you but some part of me told me to help you..I'm just afraid that..if..I let you go out there and talked to Younghee..she would be scared and all those memories would recalled back to her.."