Song One Shots

The Irony Of Choking On A Lifesaver {Phole}

Phole is the pairing of Cole Shadows and Phil Lester. Enjoy~

"Stop fucking around with my emotions!" I screamed at my blue eyed raven haired fiancée, my fists clenched with rage. "I like you better when your numb!" He shouted back, and I crossed the room smacking him harshly.

"Fuck you. I'm not the one who constantly cheats, then tried to make it better with false love and sincerity!" I spat, and he took a step back, eyes glowing with a barely contained malice. "If you weren't so horrible I wouldn't have to cheat Cole!" He said, his pale white hands tangling in his hair. "That's no fucking excuse Phil! Your a dick to me 24/7 but I don't go out fucking around!" I cried, and he chuckled, deep and low.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore." He spat, and turned on his heel slamming the door to my tiny apartment behind him. In a rage, I flung the beautiful silver and gold ring he's given me off and out the window, then turned and flipped over my dining table, finally collapsing on the ground in tears.

I'm sick and tired of false devotion
Devote yourself to moving on
Suck it up
And let it go
But your always out to get me.

A few days passed and I had slowly began to go about my usual routine. I would get up, shower go to work, come home, eat, and then go to bed. Phil's ring had reappeared on my doorstep the day after I threw it out, and it now sat on a small table in the living room, covered by a cloth. On Saturday, I got up and changed into a old pair of my boxers and a tank top, grabbing cleaning supplies before beginning to clean the whole flat from top to bottom.

I scrubbed my bathroom, erasing the smell of Phil's soap which he had left at the house. I dusted the furniture, erasing his fingerprints from every surface. I washed the sheets and comforter, beating the mattress with a old tennis racket beating the memory of him out. As I flipped it over, I spotted a old note that he had written me the first year we dated, and my heart stopped as my throat constricted.

Your the snake hidden in my daffodils
When I'm picking flowers
That's just my life these days
Why can't you just be happy
For me?

I quickly threw the note out and out the mattress back down, heading into the kithcen. I had just pulled out all the pots when a knock sounded at the door, causing my heart to leap into my throat. I opened it warily and my heart stopped seeing Phil standing there in black jeans and a blue plaid shirt, classes perched crookedly on his nose and a hickey visible on his neck. "I came for my things." He said plainly and I scoffed, going to my room and grabbing a pile of his things that is collected, throwing it at him in disgust. "There's your shit." I said emotionlessly, heading back into the kitchen.

Your the brake lines failing as
My car swerves off the freeway
It kinda feels like sabotage

I was stopped seconds later when I felt his warm hands grab my waist, pulling me back into his chest. "I'm sorry Coley." He murmured, and I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes. "Get out. Get the fuck out Phil!" I screamed, and he nodded walking out after gathering his things without another word. I grabbed my phone and punched in my sister Lee's number, sliding down the wall as she amswered.

Your running mouth falls
On deaf ears.

"Babe? Babe? Are you okay?" She asked in concern, and I began shaking, unable to speak. "Babe?! Cole?!" She asked again and I hung up, opening the cabinet and flinging everything out, glass shattering and bowls breaking, my hands getting bloody as I slammed them into the cabinets over and over again. Finally I slumped down, covering my face with my hands as I broke down, tears cascading down my face.

As I sat there, I could faintly hear my door open, followed by Lee's calm voice. "Cole? Babe." She said, and I looked up to see her and Dan standing there. Dan and Lee had been friends since Freshmen year of high school, and went literally everywhere together. Lee had bright red hair and green eyes, and Dan had brown hair and eyes, which were looking at me with concern and panic. "Coley?" He asked, and I flinched away.

"What's wrong?" Lee asked as she stood me up, helping me sit on the couch. "I'll never be good enough." I whispered as Dan sat next to me, leaving Lee to clean up the mess I had made in the kitchen. "Victoria Nicole Shadows. You are more than fuming good enough, and of Phil couldn't see that then he didn't deserve you." He whispered, and then pulled me into a hug. I relaxed into his side, tears falling though not as fast. "Yeah. Sure. Tell me when you find someone who believes that." I spat, and Lee poked her head in. "Dan." She coughed, walking back into the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes, looking up at Dan who's cheeks were a bright red color. "She isn't wrong." He murmured, and I flushed hiding my face in his side. "Not now, because your healing, but if you ever want to try...you have my nunber." He whispered and kissed my head before walking out of the room.

"Do it." Lee said, sitting next to me and grabbing my hand.

"Is it worth it?"
"Yes. It's worth it Cole."

Why can't you just be
Happy for me?