Song One Shots

Miserable At Best {Cashby}

"Austin, please. Don't cry I know your trying your hardest." Alan said to his boyfriend of the past five years, dragging a black suitcase to the door. "The hardest part is letting I of the nights we shared." Austin whispered, and the ginger at the door turned, his eyes watering. "Aussie..." Austin shook his head and stepped further into the apartment. "Go." He whispered, and Alan reached a hand out to him like a drowning man reaching his hand towards the sky. "Was I not good enough?" Austin asked, and the gingers breath caught in his throat before he turned and walked outside, the door closing behind him with a sense of finality.

Austin walked forward and slumped forward against the cold wood, unknowing that Alan was doing the same thing just a few feet away from him. "I guess that I can live without you." Alan whispered, and Austin let out a sigh. "Without you I'll be miserable at best."

A few weeks passed and Austin sat in front of a therapist named Dr. Greene, writing down what he wanted to say to Alan, though he'd never show it to the other. "Would you like to share?" The doctor asked, and Austin swallowed, breath hitching. "Your all that I hoped to find, in every single way, every thing I wouldn't give, is everything you couldn't take."

Alan sat in a office right beside Dr. Greene nervously biting his nails as he tugged his shirt down over the pear sized bruise on his chest. "Nothing feels like home, your a thousand miles away." He whispered, touching a Polaroid photo of him and Austin that he kept there. "What's the hardest part for you Alan?" Dr. Simms asked, and the boy stood looking out the window to see Austin's car in the parking lot. "Taking breaths to stay."

I know I'm good for
Something
I just haven't found it yet
And I need it

Weeks passed once again and Austin was walking down the street to the store for the first time in almost a month, nervously scanning the sidewalk as he did so. He was in front of a store when he saw Alan walking with their friend Tino and his heart dropped. Alan caught sight of Austin through the crowd and began to walk towards him, causing the blonde haired man to let out a shaky breath. "This'll be the first time in a well that I'll talk to you and I can't speak." He whispered, and Alan stopped a few feet away talking to Tino. All Austin heard was "it's been three whole days since I've had sleep." Before they continued towards him. "I got the point that I should leave you alone." Alan started, and Austin held up a hand stopping him. "We both know that your not that strong."

Tino walked into a store, clicking his fingers to Alan. Just before walking away, the ginger turned to Austin and let out a sigh. "I miss the lips that made me fly." Then he turned, running into the store. Austin of course noticed a dark purple ring around Ålans wrist, but for the first time since they met; he didn't chase after him.

Five hours later Austin was sat on his couch watching T.V. when his phone began to ring, the I.D. showing his friend Aaron. "A?" Austin asked, the man on the other line crying as soon as he heard Austin's voice. "Alan. H-he. Oh god. Aussie he's dead." Aaron choked out, and a cold numb feeling spread over Austin's body. "Dead?"
"He was found in his apartment ten minutes ago. He swallowed some pills, and it wasn't. He left you a note. I read, I read it. Austin, he. He killed himself."
"What did the note say?" Austin quietly asked as tears fell down his face, hot and fast.

"Without you I'll be miserable at best."