Just the two of us (book 3)

Chapter 43 Let the past be

I drive over to Ken and I'm so fucking nervous about this. I'm nervous that he'll soften me, I'm nervous that he'll bring some emotions up in me and I'm nervous that I'm not over him. I want a chance with Marshall but me and Ken shared a lot of years together so it's possible that some emotions are gonna hit me. I still wanna hurt him though, I wanna break his heart like he broke Amy's and I want him to feel sorry.
I get out of the car and walk up to the doorstep, I press my finger on the doorbell and wait. I miss this house, it was nice and we had all the space we needed.
Ken opens the door and he smiles to me but I just keep a straight face as I walk in.
"Hi." He says softly as I take off my jacket.
"Hi." I say coldly. I follow him out to the kitchen where we sit down at the island.
"Do you want something to drink?" He asks.
"No." I say and there's a awkward moment of silence.
"When did you come back from Detroit?" He asks.
"How do you even know we were in Detroit?" I ask.
"Samantha." He says.
"We've only been back for a few days." I say and Ken just nods. Again there's an awkward silence but I don't intend to break it as he's the one who invited me.
"I can't get you out of my head Amelia." He sighs and I roll my eyes in irritation.
"Try." I just say coldly.
"I miss you and Amy, it's eating me up inside." He tells me.
"Good." I say coldly as it's satisfying me.
"I just.. you know.. there wasn't room enough for both me and Marshall in your life." He tries to justify it.
"But there was in Amy's." I point out.
"I didn't wanna confuse her." He says which makes my anger rise.
"You didn't wanna confuse her?" I hiss angrily. "Then how the fuck do you think she felt when I said that you weren't gonna be around no more? How do you think it was for her that you walked out without giving her a reason why?!"
"I didn't think it through.."
"No shit asshole." I cut him off. "You know.. I don't give a fuck about the fact that you broke my heart but you broke my daughter's heart Ken. I shouldn't even be sitting here talking to you!"
"She deserves to know the truth, she deserves to be with her real father." Ken says.
"Maybe, but she didn't deserve to be bailed on. She loves you more than you could ever imagine and you don't even deserve it." I say.
"I know." He says. "But what was I suppose to do? I knew you were still in love with Marshall."
"You were suppose to stick with Amy and only dump me." I say.
"Wait, so you admit that you have feelings for him now?" He frowns.
"Yes, you were right."
"You fucking liar." He hisses and I can see that it hurts him. It hurts him deep that I love Marshall.
"I didn't lie Ken, I just didn't realize it then." I explain.
"So what now?" He asks. "Now you're gonna run back into his arms after what he did to you?"
"Excuse me?" I hiss getting defensive "What he did to me? Marshall is a good man and I'm lucky if he gives me another fucking chance after how I let him down and lied to him." I say.
"God, he has manipulated you again." He laughs.
"No." I say. "I know that Marshall put me through shit back then but he was a mess. I should've helped him out. I knew I was the only one who could help him and I didn't. I didn't even bother to call him when he almost died."
"Well, you bail on people and fuck them in the ass." Ken says. I've never heard him being so rude before, I didn't even think he could talk like that. I understand that he does it because my only purpose is to piss him off and hurt him right now.
"At least I don't break kid's hearts." I say.
"What do you want me to do Amelia?" He frowns.
"Nothing." I say. "You're not gonna walk back into her life and confuse her."
"So I'm not allowed to see her?" He frowns.
"No." I say. "Did you really think you were?"
"The best way to tell her the truth would be if I was there too." He says.
"But you walked out Ken." I say.
"But it'd still be the best for her." He says.
"Don't talk about what's best for my daughter." I hiss. "Besides me and Marshall will handle it just fine. Just like we handled to tell her that her dad wasn't gonna be in her life anymore." Ken looks down and I can tell that he feels so bad which he should.
"You always told me that Marshall didn't want you so what has changed?" He leads the conversation in another direction.
"He loves me." I say. "We just gotta work things out."
"That didn't take you long." He sighs.
"Maybe not." I shrug. I think the fact that I lived with him speeded things up a little.
"Does he know that you're here?" He asks.
"Yes."
"I can't believe I waisted so many years on you Amelia. You're fucking toxic." He sighs and I just shrug. I really couldn't care less about his opinion about me. He can say whatever he wants because it's just words to me. "I begin to feel how Marshall felt. Everything he said about you was fucking true and still he's dumb enough to fall right back in love with you."
"Me and Marshall have something together that the world will never understand." I justify. I can see why people would think that we're stupid enough to fall back into each other's arms after what we did to each other, but that's just me and Marshall, we can't stay away from each other and we will always love each other no matter what.
"Apparently." He rolls his eyes and I don't say anything because there's no more left to say. "I think you should go now."
"You are aware that we just ended this way worse than last time, right?" I point out.
"Because of you."
"No. what did you even expect from this Ken?" I frown.
"That I could see Amy." He sighs.
"That's never gonna happen." I say and stand up. "You made your choice."
"Just go." He says and avoid my eyes so I do.
When I get out in the car I immediately call Marshall.

"Yo." He says when he picks up the phone.
"Hi, I just got out from Ken's." I say.
"What did he want?"
"He misses me and Amy and he wanted to see Amy again."
"Alright, what did you say then?"
"I told him that it wasn't gonna happen and that he made his choice."
"Alright."
"I wish I never went there." I sigh.
"I told you so."
"He got so rude when I told him that he was right all along and that I was still in love with you."
"Why did you even tell him that?" He asks and he sounds pissed.
"Was I not allowed?" I give him an attitude because I think his tone towards me is unacceptable.
"I just don't see why you told him."
"I guess I just needed to."
"Yeah you wanted to hurt him."
"I guess."
"It's so fucking corny of you Amelia, like come on man.. why not just let it be?"
"I will from now on, okay? I promise. I just needed to get the last word, okay? I just had this need to hurt him."
"And that's the problem Amelia. You shouldn't have gone there in the first place. You and him are in the past and you don't exactly prove that shit to me when you go to his house, you feel me?" He asks and he's weirdly calm. I see it.. god.. why am I always so fucking stupid? Marshall is right, it's in the past and I shouldn't have gone there.
"You're right. I'm sorry." I say.
"It's fine." He says and there's a moment of silence. "I miss you." He takes me by surprise and I begin to smile.
"I miss you too." I say.
"You're smiling." He chuckles.
"Shut up." I laugh. "You just took me by surprise."
"Why?"
"I didn't expect you to say that."
"Me neither." He admits. "But I gotta admit that it was nice to have you and Amy here with me."
"It was nice to be there with you. Things are suddenly so different here Marshall." I sigh.
"What do you mean?"
"I feel lonely here for the first time. I know I got Rachel and all but in Detroit I have you, Tasha and Lucas."
"Then come back."
"I want to but I can't just leave Rachel." I say.
"So what's your plan? Are you gonna stay in New York just because of Rachel? You wanna be with me and you want us to be a family but you don't wanna move?"
"Of course I want but just not right now. I wish Rachel could live in Detroit with us." I sigh but I know damn well that she's never gonna move back to Detroit after all that with James.
"Yeah." Marshall just says. "Well I have to go now cus Whitney is waiting for me."
"Okay have fun." I say.
"Thanks. Say hi to Amy and Rachel from me."
"I will."

We say our goodbyes and then we hang up.
I need to get back to Detroit soon...

I hope you liked the chapter. Do you think Amelia is making process? Please comment and vote xo