Just the two of us (book 3)

Chapter 44 I can't take it anymore

We've been in New York for two weeks now and I'm getting tired of everything. I'm tired of the city. I'm tired of the fact that I can't make any progress with me and Marshall while I'm here. I'm angry with Samantha for running her mouth to Ken, I've actually been irritated on her since. Samantha still doesn't know about Marshall or anything but why did she had the need to tell Ken that I was back at work? The time I've been gone I've just told Samantha that I was sick and needed some time off. She knows that me and Ken broke up like for good this time and she's been very understanding, but why did she has to run her mouth to him?
I sit at work looking through papers when Samantha comes in and sit at the other desk, I don't say anything which I haven't really done lately.
"Do we have a problem?" Samantha suddenly sighs. I never thought she would ask.
"Maybe a little." I say not even looking up from the papers.
"Okay, then I'd really like to know what I've done." She says.
"You've been running your mouth." I say coldly and look at to see her frowning in confusing. "Why are you talking to my ex boyfriend and why did you have the need to tell him that I was back at work?" I find the whole thing very suspicious as she knows what has been going down without knowing the whole thing. She knows that Ken left and that he didn't want anything to do with me or Amy.
"Is that what you're pissed about?" She asks like I'm wrong about this.
"Of course." I say. "You've never really shared much with Ken and suddenly you run your mouth to him."
"I met him at Starbucks and he asked about you, first I served him some of my attitude until he actually told me that he ain't even Amy's real father." She confronts me. I can't believe that Ken told her that and put me out like that.
"The two of you shared a lot considering you're practically strangers." I shake my head.
"And you lie a lot considering that we were actually pretty close." She throws back in my face.
"Very few people know that Ken ain't Amy's father." I say.
"Then who is?"
"Do you really think I'm gonna tell you after how you ran your mouth?" I ask like she's fucking stupid.
"I only did that because you lied to me!" She defends herself and I just roll my eyes from her bad argumentation. I now look back down to the papers as I don't wanna talk to her."I felt sorry for him Amelia, he seemed so broken." She says.
"Okay." I just say coldly as I don't care about anything that she says right now.
"He said that you're in love with another man, you know." Samantha says. I guess Ken really poured his heart out to her.
"Okay." I just say still looking down to the papers.
"Fine, be a fucking bitch then." She says irritated. "That just makes me believe in every word that he said about you."
"I don't really care about your opinion Samantha." I say and I get up from my chair. "And I don't really care about this job anymore." I say and grab my jacket. Like I said; I'm tired of everything and I need to exclude those things from my life. This isn't what I wanted! I never got to pursue my dreams, maybe I got a little taste of it with Kevin but they weren't mine clubs! I regret that I was so stubborn back then and that I didn't let Marshall buy me that fucking club.
"Are you quitting?" Samantha asks confused.
"Bet your fucking ass I am." I say and walk out of the office.
When I get out in my car then I feel so free and relieved. I don't know what to do now but I'm not planing to stay in New York for long anyways.
I drive home and Rachel looks very surprised when I walk into the kitchen where she sits on her laptop.
"You're home early." She says.
"I quit my job." I say and sit down and Rachel widens her eyes.
"What?" She asks and I run my hands through my hair and pull it a little.
"Where's Amy?" I ask.
"In her room." Rachel says. "What's going on?"
"Rachel, I can't take this anymore." I say and my voice shakes.
"Can't take what?" She asks.
"Living this life." I say. "I never got to pursue my dreams and I've been too fucking stubborn to get help from the people who wanted to help. I'm tired of this city, I don't even feel home here anymore. It's so weird that Detroit is where I feel home the most. I have Tasha, Lucas and Marshall there and you're the only thing that keeps me in New York." I burst out and Rachel looks even more surprised now.
"So you wanna move to Detroit?" She asks.
"It just feels too soon but it's also where Amy would rather be. I'm so confused about what to do," I cry now.
"Amelia.. sweetie.." she sighs and takes my hand. "I don't know what to say."
"I want to be close to you but I can't live here anymore. I feel so lonely." I cry.
"Amy should be close to her father so I expected you to move to Detroit eventually." She says and I just nod but keep crying. "What do you need?"
"Marshall." I admit as he's all I need right now.
"Then go call him." Rachel says. "I make sure to distract Amy."
"Thank you." I say and I go to my room and call Marshall. It rings a few times before he picks up.

"Yo." He says.
"Hi." I say. "Do you have time?"
"Yeah sure." He says. "What's up? You sound upset."
"I quit my job." I tell him.
"What? Why?" He asks confused.
"I can't do it anymore Marshall." I cry.
"Hey.. what's going on Amelia?" He asks softly.
"I wish I could just push a "start over" button and don't do all the stupid things I've done in my life. The things that got me to where I am now and the things that makes me feel what I'm feeling now."
"What are you feeling right now?"
"Lonely. A failure. So so so stupid." I admit.
"How come you feel that?"
"I haven't pursued my dreams because I was too damn stubborn to let you help me. I'm lonely because I keep fucking everything up and I'm so stupid for running from everything." I explain.
"So what are you gonna do about it?"
"I don't know." I admit. "I wanna leave New York but if I leave New York to go to Detroit then I feel like I'm running from my problems again."
"What problems are you running from in New York?"
"I don't know.. everything." I say unaware what I'm running from here.
"You tell me that you don't have more left in New York than Rachel and Rachel ain't a problem, therefore you can't run from problems that ain't there." He explains. "But.. girl.. you have plenty of them in Detroit."
"You don't say." I mumble.
"I want you and Amy close to me Amelia."
"And I wanna be close with you, we wanna be close with you." I say.
"I can buy you a nice house here in Detroit."
"Can't we move into your old house?" I ask confused.
"No, I want you to get your own." He says.
"Okay." I just say.
"Should I come by tomorrow?" He asks and I'm confused now.
"Are you in New York tomorrow?"
"Yeah.. I have my concert the day after tomorrow." He says. That's right.. the concert.. the concert that Jamie is gonna attempt to.
"That's right." I sigh. "Jamie is gonna be there."
"She is."
"Are you still keeping your promise?" I ask probably sounding so insecure but I don't care.
"About what?"
"About not sleeping with her." I say irritated that he doesn't remember.
"Hmm.. I don't know. Would it hurt you as bad as it did on me when I walked in on you and Jake?" He flips the question.
"Marshall please." I beg.
"I'm keeping my promise, don't worry." He says.
"Can I come?" I now ask. I haven't been to one of his concerts for many years so I would really like to go.
"So you can keep an eye on me?"
"No." I say. "I haven't seen you on stage for years and I would like to experience that again."
"You ain't gonna go fucking psycho when you see Jamie?"
"No, I promise to be in my best behavior." I promise him.
"Alright, you can come then."
"Thank you." I say grateful.
"But do you want me to stop by tomorrow or not?" He asks.
"Yes." I say. I always want to see him.
"Alright, imma come by tomorrow then."
"Thank you." I say.

We talk for about 20 minutes before we then hang up. It's probably the longest we've been on the phone with each other and it's nice. I can't wait to see him tomorrow and I can't wait to see his concert. I'm already feeling a lot better after I've spoken to him.

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