Chapter 1

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I just didn't know what to do.

I kicked at the leaves along the sidewalk as I made my way home from the bus stop up at the corner of the main road and Sunnyvale court.

I hated school.

I hated it all the time from when I was little. But I learned well and fast and loved to read. So, when my older brother told my mom that I could go to a private school instead of the public school I'd been going to, she agreed and jumped at the opportunity for me to get a "better education" So... at the age of 8, I found myself amid my own private hell.

School uniforms and all.

Kota pushed me into science classes.

I hated them and only took one every few years despite his arguments that I would do well to have a very rounded transcript. How else could I possibly get into a good school?

I snorted and bent to pick up a rock. I tossed it from hand to hand as I walked and thought about how hypocritical that statement was coming from him.

Oh, I'd done my research. I'd ferreted out details from all his brothers.

Brothers.

I snorted. Technically, that made them mine too by association. As if I didn't already see them as brothers seeing as we had all grown up together with my mom standing in for their mom's most of the time since they were 3 years old and before I'd even been thought of.

Apparently, they'd all been fascinated with me when I was born.

A lot of good that had done me.

They'd found the girl of their dreams at 16 and now that they were 21, well, happily ever after had a face and her name was Sang. Even their older brothers, Sean and Owen were part of the happy crowd.

Owen at least understood that I'd rather read than anything Kota could ever steer me towards and had always given me books that he thought I'd like, even if mom wasn't quite sure I should be reading them yet.

Hunger Games at 8, anyone? Yes please.

He'd gotten me through Harry Potter in 3 months at 7.

And the Divergent series at 9. I didn't like those much. I never can understand why anyone would go to the lengths of making you like their main character for three books only to kill them off in the last one. I absolutely despise that and honestly considered sending the author books to show she missed the point of writing.

We tried Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. I couldn't make it through the Hobbit. I managed the first LOTR book just fine but bogged down in the second. Until Owen mentioned to Kota that he should watch the movies with me. Well, that did it. Second movie of our marathon and I made Kota wait three days before we could watch the third movie because I had to read the books first. That was at 10.

At 11, we attempted the Twilight series but I think even Owen was relieved when I tossed the second one at him in anger over the main character's attitude and went back to binge read the Hunger Games trilogy. We didn't watch the movies and I made him take all the books back because I refused to read another word.

Anyway, I digress in my school thoughts.

Mama didn't raise no fool. I wasn't babysat by Owen Blackbourne for the better part of 4 years, from the ages of 6 to 10 without realizing that my brother wasn't attending "The Academy" for school purposes. But out of respect for the family my brother was coming up with, I didn't question anything. I just let it be and considered that it was a lot of work to be in the school I was in and this Academy seemed to be a lot more difficult because of how much work they did year-round.

There was no way that I wanted to pursue further education.

NO, not me. Not Jessica Emmaline Lee.

I'm 17 and about to toss a bomb on a slow burning fuse.

I'm about to tell my mom and my brother that I have no intention of pursuing any form of a college degree after graduation in two and a half months.

Have I been applying?

Sure.

Have I been seriously applying to the Ivy league school Kota practically demanded that I apply to?

Hell no.

Do I want to be a nurse like my mom? No. I don't do blood well. I can tolerate it but I don't want to view it or any other bodily fluids daily like she does.

I know she'd be happy for me to just go to school but I'm so burned out on the idea that I just can't fathom getting enough of an argument together to counter the idea. I threw the rock as far as I could... as hard as I could.

When Kota was 17... he'd already met the love of his life and was willing to share her with 8 other guys. They all do what they want. They are all happy doing what they want. I want that.

Not necessarily exactly that.

I mean, Sang's great. I love her like the sister I never ever had before. She likes me too, I think. And compared to what I observe about her sister, who still lives in the house in our neighborhood, she's nothing at all like her. I don't need a harem of guys at my beck and call, not that she uses and abuses the fact that they are absolutely at her beck and call. I'd be happy with one guy at my beck and call.

Yeah.

I know. It's terribly sad that I'm 17 and can't get a date.

Fact 1: I essentially have 9 older brothers that would and have grilled any and all potential suitors.

Oh, they try to not be overbearing. But they are absolutely embarrassing. Do I think that might possibly be the reason that I seem to be on a very short list of 1 as far as girls that are blacklisted when it comes to going on a date at my school? Uh, yeah. Very much so.

I'm a senior in high school and prom is in 2 months.

I can't even buy a date.

I wonder if Sang would loan me Luke.

I've been trying to talk myself out of asking her if I can borrow him for prom but it's looking more and more like my only option is to borrow one of her guys.

I'd go ask her for advice but to be honest, it's a little daunting. What could she possibly tell me? She's 21 and has held on to 9 guys for 5 years. But before she had them. . . and she's been very open and honest with me about this... before them... she had never been with anyone. Never dated, no nothing, nada.

I'd ask my mom.

But she doesn't date anyone. Not once since my dad.

Not that I blame her.

What I remember of him isn't that great.

Kota always went to great lengths to lock me in places when it was really bad and there was one time I remember talking to Owen on the phone before he rescued me from the pantry.

Mom's awesome.

She didn't have to be the Den mother for their own version of Cub Scouts but she did. She still looks amazing for being the mom of a 21 year old and a 17 year old.

But she never dates, in spite of the fact that Luke's Uncle Ben has had a bit of a crush on her since before I could remember. He still does things for her, even though the usual reason for doing things is long past gone because Luke is 21 now and lives on his own in the house that they all live in.

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