Hotline Fling || Jargot #Wattys2017

「50」truth

Chapter fifty; truth

D A V I D

I let her go away just like that.

I didn't even say a thing to her.

Why? Why david?

I get down on my knees and cried. I let my emotions take over me, I can't bear this. I can't. I have no idea why, why of all people i will fall inlove with is not my fiancé, the one who i should love. Why of all people, why did the cupid paired me and queenie. Why queenie miller?

But, i can answer my own questions. I can say that, I loved her because she is Queenie Miller, She makes me happy, She inspires me, She makes my day brighter, i can list a lot of other things but she is the one who made me love again.

+++

few hours later

I walked on the silent streets of paris, it is already evening. Everyone's asleep,
'I hope i can make my emotions sleep too.' I sighed because of my thoughts. I sniffed and drink the hot coffee from my hand. After what happened many hours ago, i go to a nearest cafe and just ate cookies and tea's. I can't drink wine or beer, Doctor's order.

"Why can't i just live happily?! Why can't i drink just one beer or one smoke?" I yelled not caring if i wake up some other people.

"Why can't i just love her!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I kneel down and started to sob.

"So many things preventing me to do what i please, so many fucking things." I whispered to myself. And all of the sudden my head started to ache so badly, I closed my eyes for a moment. I then quickly get the capsule from my pocket and drink it. After a few minutes, my head isn't aching anymore.

I sighed and stood up. I continued walking down the streets, thinking of queenie at Christmas day.

+++

After a few hours of walking, thinking if i should call her or go to the hotel but not doing so, I've made my way back to my hotel. Decided to just cry at my room, there's nothing more than i can do. I've broken her trust, and her heart.

The door man greeted me a merry Christmas and I returned, I don't want to ruin anyone's day just because mine's ruined, that is a really selfish act. Good thing my room is on the second floor so I don't have to wait long enough for the elevator to take me there. Once the elevator opened, a pair of couple arguing showed up infront of me.

"You fucked up your chance, rick was right, you're just wasting my time, Moron." The girl said harshly to the guy as she comes in the elevator and I exit. Once i'm out of the elevator, I take a look at the lad around 16/17 who has a flower on his hand looking down.

"All i wanted was to just make her happy, yet she chooses that brainless guy with looks over me." He sniffs.

"You know, she is not the last girl on earth. You're still young. And She is the one who fucked up her chance to date a good guy like you." I said to him, and the guy looks up at me and frowns.

"Uh, thanks dude, but i'm not asking for your opinion. Fuck off." He said rudely and go to the stairs.

"What a fucking moron he is. No wonder why." I shake my head not seeing that coming. Well, looks can't really tell who you are inside. I continued my way to my room, and it's only around 15 steps away from the elevator.
I took out my card key for my room and tapped it to the sensor and the room opened. To my surprise, a person whom I don't expect to be here, is standing and looking at me.

"Bella? What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"Care to explain why are you gone for one week without my knowledge?" Bella raised an eyebrow at me.

"I, i had something to do." I said as i put down my coffee at the table near the tv.
"Care to explain what are you doing here?" I asked as i go towards her, going to hug her but she stops me with her hand.

"I'm here, to ask you what the fuck is this about?" She said now having teary eyes.

"Wha-"

"Oh please, don't act. Stop the acting david! Just fucking tell me, What am i to you? Am i just some toy to play around to you? Huh?"

"I-" she cuts me with her slapping me with her phone.

"Here, THIS! What the fuck is this huh? Flirting with Queenie? You have a fiancé for goodness sake!" She said angrily to me as the tears stream down her face.
I take a look at her phone and saw that she is logged in to my email account, which includes lot's of sweet messages from me to queenie and from queenie to me. Should have changed or just created a new email, damn it.

"Yes I'm flirting with her, are you happy? There, i said it i'm going to stop acting and pretending Everything is hella okay." I said pissed of what's happening on this day now.

"Happy? Am i freaking happy to know that my fiancé is having an affair?! TO MY BEST FRIEND?!" She almost screamed. "What did i do to you, why? Why my best friend?" Bella said and her tone died down.

"I.." i tried to say something but I can't think of anything, anything to say. I've broken one heart and now another one today. I can't take it anymore.

"I've have done everything i can. I have gave all of my hours to you, didn't get the career that i want because of you... Loved you so much, that i forgot to love myself. Why? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOVE ME JOHN? WHY?" She yelled at me and pushed me.

"I DONT KNOW! I DON'T KNOW OKAY? I don't know why, but i can't fucking love you bella. I tried.. I tried to love you from the day I opened my eyes, The day at the hospital I didn't knew why, why I can't love you again like how i did before it all happened." At this point i'm crying now. Remembering what happened before all of this. The feeling of not knowing anything of what happened yesterday. Just remembering few moments of the past.

"So Just because of your part time amnesia it made you also forgot your love to me huh? You were so inlove with me john, what happened?" She asked irritated.

"Isn't it enough? All of what i did?" She said and comes closer to me. I look at her brown eyes with tears streaming down her face. What have i done?

"I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry bella." I said sincerely to her. And she broke down and sobs. Bella hugged me and I hugged her back.

"But that doesn't change anything." Bella said and pushed me down. She storms out of my room.

"Wait, wait! Where-" I suddenly felt dizzy and my head started to ache again causing me to groan in pain.

"John? John?!" I heard bella said faintly. I can't see her properly, but my mind drifted off to something, A memory that I didn't knew existed.