bite // [skam / chris schistad]

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pipervik: she's mad i'm posting this but look at my beautiful friend isn't she pretty? tell her she's pretty [tagged: evamohn2]

1,903 likes, 200 comments

jonas9000: very pretty!!!!!!!
isakyaki: eh
evamohn2: EXCUSE ME @isakyaki
isakyaki: very pretty @evamohn2
chrisschistad: post pics of ur face
evamohn2: ^^^ offended
loglady99: so pretty
magnussonwilliam: hi please answer my texts pip

//

willi
pip
pip
pip
pip
pip
pip

pip
ahh very important messages
yes, willi?

willi
where are u

pip
ahh still very important messages
lunch with eva by the water why

willi
chris wants to see u

pip
yeah naked
i can't believe u gave him my number william i'm still annoyed about it
he sends me a million texts a day

willi
i'll try to get him to stop
it's cold out i don't want you riding your stupid board thing where are you i'll give you a ride

pip
chris is probably there

willi
he'll sit in the back and be quiet, don't worry about him.

pip
fine but only because eva took the bus and it's cold out
current location

//
saturday 13:45

"hi pip." chris says as i get in the car.

"you can't call me pip. only william can." i snap, turning around.

"fine. piper."

"thank you." i say, and drum my fingers on my board. "hi willi." i pinch his cheek and fix his hair, pulling it back a little.

"do you know a girl named vilde?" he asks.

"oh yeah, i'm great, thanks for asking. had a good lunch with eva, going to skype my mom later." i say and he just rolls his eyes.

"do you?"

"yes, we're in a bus together, why?"

"she's been dming me on instagram all day."

"i'll have a word with her. she wants to get invited to your bus parties but she's also very keen on you." i roll my eyes. "she doesn't care that we're friends and i'm invited everywhere because of you."

"you're not invited everywhere because of me."

"i held your hand and walked into russ parties last year. we didn't even speak after we walked in."

"i forgot about that." he laughs.

"how did i miss you if we were at the same russ parties?" chris asks and i just shrug.

"heard you were too busy disrespecting girls." i say, and william looks over at me and chuckles.

"you're mean." chris says, and sits back.

"i speak the truth." i say and william nods.

"she's a blunt bitch." william says and i smile, knowing that's what he says when people ask if we're dating. he says i'm his friend and the bluntest bitch he's ever met and that i'm too mean for him to actually date.

"a blunt bitch." chris agrees and i turn around quickly.

"you can't call me a bitch though. just william." i say and he rolls his eyes.

"i'm having a party tonight, you should come." chris says and i raise my eyebrows.

"you want a blunt bitch there?" i smile.

"you can bring the girl that wants william's dick and the one you posted a picture of, you should take my advice from the instagram comment by the way and-"

"you're annoying." i say, and william stops in front of my house. "see you later!" i pick up my longboard and head towards my house.

"i'll pick you up!" william shouts.

"i'll walk, idiot!" i shout back. "hi dad." i say walking into the house.

"is that william out there?" he asks, sticking his head out and william waves as chris gets into the front seat. "should i go say hi?"

"not necessary." i laugh and walk into the house, pulling him with me.

//

bus bitches

piper
got us invited to penetrator chris' party tn
ur  welcome
no dicks were sucked either

eva
yeah because chris wants to fuck you more than anything

piper
he actually invited me after i kinda yelled at him twice

vilde
how are you mean to people that are that pretty

piper
clearly you've never held a conversation with christoffer schistad.

sana
what did you say

piper
he said i was mean for saying he disrespects women (a fact)
and then he tried to call me a blunt bitch after william said it and i said that he wasn't allowed to call me that
and that he also was't allowed to call me pip because only friends can call me that.

noora
awww our little pip defending her honor

piper
yeah bitch 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

chris
he's hot though
you should definitely let him hit it

piper
i'm definitely going to let him at some point
he's just going to have to work his ass off for it.

noora
that's the spirit!

piper
so predrinks at my house? my dad's out getting us wine and some beers already.

eva
sounds like a plan meet at yours in an hour?

piper
sounds good

//

when u realize that there's not actually a t in chris' instagram and u just read it wrong so u gotta fix it <3 follow for more relatable posts like this <3