Inimitable Love. (Harry Styles)

Chapter 23.

*Song for this chapter, This I Promise You by NSYNC.*

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Three weeks.

Twenty one days have passed since I have seen Harry. The fact is, I missed him. I missed him more than my entire being and for that, I blamed no one else but me.

Since that basketball event took place, I hadn't seen him. Sure, he was kind enough to regularly ask me about my health, my school, my studies and whatnot. I didn't even hesitate to answer him within a second.

Harry told me that lately he had been busy with all his gym training since he had been assigned to a higher post. I'm more than happy for it.

He asked me if he could celebrate it with me. And me being me, I quickly denied it saying that I had my school work. He didn't mind it but I am sure he had been hurt.

Last weekend, he even called me to spend time with him and I quickly said no for an excuse that mom was unwell and I needed to take care of her.

Now another weekend was awaiting and I was still doubting if I should call him or not. My eyes craved for his presence and my hands itched to touch his skin. I was mercilessly ignoring his calls to meet me just because I was afraid.

I was afraid because it had never happened with me before. I had never felt so needed and special by someone. Just the thought of Harry made my heart flutter. He unknowingly raised my heartbeat. His touch in every way possible seeped right through my skin reaching to my heart creating more space in it. Concluding that Harry Styles was occupying my brain more than I could ever imagine.

I felt vulnerable, my pessimistic side was finding a way back in me. What if he didn't feel the same way? What if he will run out of my life? If he will not run away, then what if he still considered me any other regular friend? What if Harry loses his trust in me?

I didn't even know when during these darkening thoughts unwanted tears started spilling out of my eyes. No matter what I did, no matter what I thought, Harry will be in my mind forever. Even if I'll side-corner him, I'll only end up thinking more about him.

By now my whole cushion was stained with tears. My darkened room was representing my state of mind. Just a ray of moonlight was there. Yet I was absolutely direction-less. Lacking life and light. Most of all, lacking Harry's presence.

My blanket was tightly pressed by my hands to my chest hoping that it would be Harry.

My old friends were all fake. Their presence was there but they never considered me important. I had never shown them the 'serious' side of me. Maybe I didn't want them to discover because I knew, they will fade away. But the case is entirely different for Harry.

He knew me perfectly. He knew when did I need what. When I felt insecure, when I needed space, when I wanted someone to hug me. Hugs, fuck his hugs. I missed the perfect embrace. I missed his strong comforting arms. I missed him. I will say it until I feel the need too.

"But what if one makes you fall in love? What would you do then?"

"I-I don't actually know. If I'll feel anything like that, I'll tell this to you."

Our long forgotten conversation came back in my mind. I'm sure I didn't love him, at least not for now but I definitely felt something for him. And it will be better if I tell him. Shall I?

But now? How can I even disturb him? He has been so perfect for me.

Again more stupid tears rolled off my eyes.

I fumbled on my way to study and quickly grabbed the phone off the table surprisingly without even turning on the light and dialed his number. It took few seconds.