London

5 - "Just being Alex."

Alex

Harry and I spent a couple of days just cocooning whenever we have the chance. Or more whenever he has the chance. Each time feels more intense and I feel like we're trying to find each other on a sexual level as well. With his history closer by than ever I find it hard to let go of the past, but when it is just the two of us it's fine. In fact- it's the best. But as soon as he leaves, it is a different story that I try to ignore.

"What did I do to deserve this?" I say as I lie in bed, still naked and leaning on my elbows to watch him lie next to me.

"Just being Alex."

"You just called me Lexie," I tell him and he laughs. "Are you keeping that just for sex now?"

"I am." He smiles and I know he's going to leave in seconds. He doesn't need to tell me as he gets out of bed to find some fresh clothes and I watch him move around while I settle under the sheets. It's been my favourite place because I can smell him there. The house itself feels cold when he spends most of his time at work where I am no longer allowed to come.

"Do you think we can go out for dinner tonight?" I wonder. I need to get out of this house or I'll get bedsores.

"I'll try, okay? Maybe we can do something here?"

"But I want to go out," I tell him. "I spend too much time inside."

"And I want to be at home with you," he counters back and I guess he has a point as well.

For the past four days Harry was only home for a quick breakfast. The rest of the time he's at work. I understand he wants to spend some time here.

"Okay, fine," I say. "I'll cook dinner."

"Put on some candles. It would be like we're in Palas," he says, smiling to me. He looks mighty fine with his bed hair and black sweater. "I hope Pascal doesn't smell the sex on me."

"That's unlikely." I pull him close, kissing his cheek and smelling him for the last time. "I'll miss you."

"See you tonight. I'll text you okay?"

I nod and watch him leave the room, leaving me alone. I could easily cook a meal like mac and cheese to really make it feel like Palas, but since I don't have any other plans I decide to get dressed and find a supermarket for some real food.

Being outside is great for me, I know that. But the cold makes me stay inside more. Still I enjoy the walk to the grocery store to buy some ingredients to go all out tonight. Harry has been nothing but understanding and could have easily get angry with me for fucking up like that at his work. But he managed to turn his usual anger in support. For that he deserves a nice meal.

Walking back to the house I get a text from him that sets my skin to fire.

Harry: I miss you already.

Harry: be home at seven, okay?

I smile as I answer him back that I can't wait, loving this change in Harry. He's really trying to be understanding and I hope we can go on on that path. There's several other messages from Liam who I've been ignoring for the past days. Partly because I think he needs to settle down with his new girlfriend and job without my troubles and also because he'll nag that I should have started looking for a job much sooner. Feeling better than I've felt since I've been back, I decide to open them.

Liam: how is everything? Pascal angry?

Liam: if you want to, you can stop by my work at 13 when I'm on break?