London

26 - "I'm asking you politely to back off."

Harry

What a fucking nerve Alex has to say that I don't really look at her. I see all of her, and her saying that I don't makes me so angry that one wrong word from anyone will make me go insane. I have been furious with Alex before, many times actually, and I have always been able to hold myself together. But after countless fights with her maybe my engine is running out and I'm done with treating her with patience. It isn't working so a new approach is needed. Or maybe it is a very old one. 

I remember so well when we first were in Palas and she asked me to be nice to Rosie. Thinking of that girl makes me smirk in the worst way- what a douchebag she was. She was as transparent as water in her games, but Alex didn't see right through it. It was fun and hurtful at the same time to watch. That she believed someone as wrong as Rosie over me. That she thought that we shagged only one time and then I would go off and treat her like rubbish again. Amazing how easy she saw me as the villain of it all. 

One time after I did my best to please Alex and I ignored Rosie, simply because being nice to her like Alex wanted seemed impossible at the time, Alex still found something to obsess over. Still choosing to believe that I treated Rosie wrongly, not knowing what Rosie was capable off. This time around I was rubbing Alex's good results for the lifeguards entry test in Rosie's face who of course failed that exact test. Thinking about it now makes me roll my eyes, but back then I was done with Alex. My patience running out as well especially when the conversation landed back on the topic of me screwing Rosie. I had driven off without saying another word. Similar to now. 

But I guess the outcome won't be so simple this time. That's why I remember that fight so well because I'm sure there were plenty of others that I don't remember the details of, but this one was special as Alex came to my room to apologize. I had just taken a shower in which she clouded my mind like she had been doing since our moment in the laundry room. And then suddenly she was at my door, flustered by my naked body, but the best part was that she apologized and the urge to kiss her had been so big. I got so close to doing it, but instead my thumb had the privilege of touching her lips. I'm pretty certain that tonight I won't get a kiss from her either and an apology seems like a far stretch as well. 

She probably won't believe a word of what I say anyway. Thinking that I only go to these parties for Susie when it is the other way around. Susie comes here for me and I'm simply there because I have to and I'm only being nice to her because I'm not the same boy I was back then. Also Susie doesn't compare to Rosie, but I guess in Alex's mind it makes no difference. Especially not after Alex finds out what truly happened between Susie and I. 

She's looking at me now, probably knowing me well enough to don't approach me. Susie's dark hair falls behind her back and all she does is swirl it back around to lay over her chest. She's testing me and she has been for awhile now, trying her hardest to stay in my life when there simply is no place for her. She's kind at heart, I know that, but I also know how girls can get if you test their limits and maybe I have been testing my luck with the both Alex and Susie. I'm just glad that I delete most of the texts Susie sends, especially those about my mother, because Alex would rightfully kill me if she found out about that, but there is more. 

My heart starts to race when I think of it. Of how I came home from Palas the second time around and knew about the unfortunate event of Alex and Liam's kiss. It felt best to leave and put some space between us. Something I know now doesn't work, because with space come other problems. Like Susie. 

I had left her very suddenly to return to Palas and I'd told her that I wanted to get over Alex before I could make things with her official. It was a half-lie because deep down I knew there was no such thing as getting over Alex, but I had hope that if I'd see with my own eyes that she'd moved on, that I would be able to be with Susie for real. Something I knew Susie wanted more than anything, her patience with me proving that. So she let me go without much of a fuss and when I returned she had no reason to believe that nothing more happened than a friendly encounter with Alex. Because that was all I told her.