London

Epilogue

Dear Bobbie,

many years ago I sat on the exact flight as you only a year older. You probably can't imagine me that young, but trust me, once I was. I have had the best of times and the worst of times in Palas. Some of which I told you and some of which I didn't. 

You might not even know why I went there in the first place. Unlike you I was perfectly fine in London and couldn't imagine liking another city. The only reason I went is because the man you're named after suggested it, and I would do anything for him. We needed money and I was going to provide it. Keeping a job in London was hard for me since I had numerous outbursts and problems with myself I didn't understand back then. It is in Palas where I got to know myself, and I understand that you want to find that out about yourself, too. Even if that means spending time apart and the prospect of you liking Palas just as much as I did, and not returning anytime soon.

I'm sorry for my silence these last weeks. I was afraid to open my mouth and either cry or get angry. Since you know me longer than today, you already know how I felt so why talk about it? It is painful to see your child go. It reminds me of my father who once had to do the same thing to truly let me go. When I went to Palas the first time, my father already knew that he was sick and that he wasn't going to grow old. Still, he put me first, because he knew I needed the escape that Palas was for me in order to move on. I have been angry with him for a long time because it felt as if he didn't want to spend his last moments with me and we lost precious time together, but I realize now, as a parent, what a sacrifice he made. And I will have to do the same thing although luckily, not in such extreme ways. 

I hope Palas is everything you dream it to be. The place has changed over the years, the climate, the circumstances, but it is still my second home. With this letter you see the first picture of you in Palas with your hair still blonde instead of dark and your father still young instead of- well to me he's still the same but for you he's probably old. 

In Palas I have found love and friendship that will last a lifetime. I overcame my fears and pushed my boundaries. It is also the place I found out I was pregnant with you and your brother. I found out what kind of work suits me best and that the best thing in life is to just be.

I have never told you about the list my father, your grandfather, gave me when I first went there. In it where eight things that he wanted me to experience there. At first I thought it was ludicrous and stupid, but in the end I did them all without even trying and they are the best memories I ever made on my own. So I included the original list from him and added some things that I think you should do. Keep it safe and I hope one day you can give it to your daughter when she leaves for adventure and add ideas of your own. Make memories, as a wise man from years ago once said: you only live once.

Say hello to grandpa for me and tell him I love him, and miss him still.

Just be, my love, 

kisses and hugs from your mum

__________________________________

So here we go:

1. Cut your hair at the Greek barber. But don't go bald like I did, biggest mistake ever.
2. Ride a Ferris wheel. Stop being a baby.
3. Take a boat trip and a road trip - both winners in Greece.
4. Go skinny dipping. I probably shouldn't tell my daughter to do this, but believe me, you'll never feel so free.
5. Stargaze.
6. Go to a water park. Again, how old are you? Still afraid of a water slide?
7. Do something I'd never do.
8. But most of all have FUN!

9. Visit the pier and pay ten euros to have your future told by a very quiet, but right lady
10. Eat pizza at Little Italy 
11. Kiss at least one boy, but don't make my mistake and do it front of a guy you're actually with
12. Call me once a day
13. Feed the stray dogs, they will steal your heart even more than our own dog did
14. Dance your arse off at PDC
15. Just be