London

51 - "Harry."

Alex

When I wake up my bed is empty. Somewhere Thomas must have decided that spending the night with me is not as great when we have to share a small single bed. I don't recall him leaving. The last memory I have is finally feeling satisfied and falling asleep on top of him. I just hope he left because I was suffocating him, not because we made the mistake of letting our lust get in the way of our rational thinking.

Instead of turning around and use the last hour of sleep, I get out of bed and put on a robe. No one is awake yet, and I take my time making some breakfast. I'm half way finished eating some eggs on toast when Liam enters the kitchen.

"Morning," he mumbles, grabbing a cup to pour the fresh made coffee in. 

"Sleep alright?"

"Yeah, you?"

"I did. Thomas is in his own room," I tell him and he rolls his eyes.

"He has a room for himself now then? Last night I'm pretty sure I saw him sneak into yours."

"In all honesty, I thought it was you, but I couldn't say no to him, could I?"

He shrugs his shoulders and I can tell that he's pretty fed up with the fact that I slept with Thomas. That I'm not listening to his whole taking it slow thing. I'm upset by it too, but it happened and it doesn't need to mean the end of the world. Maybe before I started therapy it would have been the end of the world, but right now I feel like I can take whatever the outcome will be. 

"It's okay, Liam. I think we both needed it to happen and now we'll see. Please don't be upset about it."

"I'm not, honestly. You have to do what you think is best. When is your next therapy session?" He casually drops as he watches the calendar on which we write all or our appointments. It's clear that he's scared for me.

"Next week. And I have a meeting set with Rob and I even wrote some things I want to ask him. Have been thinking about what I want to do with my life. I'm following his guidance and I took my pills. I'm okay."

"I see. I guess I'm still getting used to the fact I no longer need to take care of you," he says and he sits down in front of me.

"Don't get used to it too quick. I'm pretty certain I will forever need you."

"And I you," he answers back, briefly meeting my eyes before he returns them to his coffee. "You are the best brewer in the house."

"Thanks," I grin, just as Thomas's door opens and I brace myself for when I'll see him. Will he kiss me on my cheeks or ignore what happened between us?

My heart is beating loudly when he turns the corner and I can spot him walking through the living room towards the kitchen. He stops when he looks up to see both me and Liam eating breakfast. 

"Goodmorning," he says, his hand rushing through his hair and I can tell that he doesn't even know how to stand. 

"Morning mate," Liam says, saving the day by standing up. "Have a seat. Want some breakfast?"

"Yeah, sure," he mumbles, sitting down on Liam's stool. He eyes me for a second and I give him a small smile. 

Under the table I let my feet touch his leg and softly graze it so that he knows we're okay. It makes him return my smile and breathe better. 

"Sleep alright?" Liam asks him and he nods.

"Yeah, it is a nice mattrass. I don't get why you have such a small one," Thomas says, returning his attention to me.