London

22 - "So I should just walk away, again?"

Alex

Moving at all seems to be an enormous task but I manage to get to work. The only reason I am even going is because of the way Harry looked at me. I don't want to be a failure in his eyes and I feel like I'm letting him down. Although I made sure the empty bottle was stored away last night, I think he could smell it on me that I drank. The drinking won't disappoint him as much as losing my last job will.

I don't know my boss well enough. I think he can easily hire others who will be in time. Who do take life seriously. I guess I'll get to know Yano soon enough. The moment I step foot inside, I am officially an hour and twenty minutes late.

From behind the register Yano looks up and sighs loudly for me to hear. "Took you long enough."

"I'm sorry," I tell him in my most sincere way. "I forgot to set an alarm. Happens to the best of us. You know I'm always early."

"You are," he says. "Doesn't mean that I'll let this slide. Next time you 'forget to set an alarm' you are fired."

He spits the words and I hope it is only because he's sleep deprived. Giving myself some credit for not arguing back but simply taking his place behind the counter, I smile to him.

"Good night," I tell him.

He walks away without saying another word and goes upstairs. Since my father was super religious towards the end of his life I can't help but pray to him. That he'll give me strength to get through the day.

Somehow I do without any major accidents. Maybe the register won't make sense and if so I'll happily pay the difference. For now all I want is to lie down, close my eyes and dream of my father. When I was younger he was the one who got me through rough times. He'd stay in with me, watch my favourite movies that he usually hated and eat everything that is wrong for you. I know that I'm no longer a child and have to face my responsibilities, but as long as I am asleep I won't have to. Nothing will bother me and I won't bother anyone either. So I settle down in our bed again.

Harry has left a note on the table to call me as soon as I'm home, but I don't want to talk. Instead I text him and I am surprised with a quick response. 

Alex: i'm not fired, but he was angry

Harry: Okay, that's good. How are you feeling?

Alex: horrible, but nothing sleep can't fix

Harry: Try to stay awake for me

Alex: when will you be home

Harry: I'm eating at work then having another party

Alex: you had a party two days ago and a meeting yesterday?

Harry: This is just to celebrate that we had the best revenue ever the last weeks.

Alex: can i come?

He doesn't answer as quick as he did at the start of our conversation. I picture him in the shop, rolling around on his little stool, asking Pascal for permission. Considering that Pascal didn't say a word to me at Harry's birthday last week, I'm not expecting much. He really holds a grudge against Liam, which I understand, but his hate towards me is a bit dumb if you ask me. Sure I behaved weird at the last party I went to, but shouldn't I be forgiven for it at some point? It has been a few months.

Harry: Better not

Alex: okay. it's all bull crap and you know it harry. 
you would be better off without that dictator.