Steal Your Girl (Katsuki Bakugou)

Doubt

Hey guys, this is not an update but I really wanted to raise an issue that has not only been bothering me but also is a norm for other people out there.

I'm going to talk about doubt. And not just any type of doubt but Writer's doubt.

So what is this writer's doubt? In my own definition, writer's doubt is this bitch ass nigga inside critic that's always waiting for you to start writing a book or you're in the middle of one to start whispering really nasty things into your ear about how your work sucks balls and how you should just quit and force a cat to live with your miserable ass. A more proper definition of it is an inside voice which makes you have second thoughts about your work and causes you to feel like a terrible failure.

How does this writer's doubt work? Well, it begins when you're just sitting there, in front of your screen or paper, getting all excited about what to write and then Bam! Some little shit inside your head starts saying bad things about your manuscript and what do you know? You begin to doubt your work, think about how it's not good enough, compare it to other successful books and what happens in the end? You stop writing and start feeling worthless, like you're wasting your time and talent. The final result, you fall either into depression or you just quit your writing career.

I'm saying all these because I've been there. In fact, I've battled with it for the last four days. And man does it suck!

How did it start? I have no idea. The bitch just sneaked up on me and suddenly, I began feeling like my book wasn't enough. I'd compare it with other books in the same fandom and that only made me sink even deeper into depression. I'd ask myself, why am I not good enough? Suddenly, writing didn't seem so exciting as it was. I felt ashamed of my fic. At one point, it got so bad that I actually contemplated on deleting it. Just yesterday actually! I even told myself and I quote "I should've just stayed being a reader instead of writing this shit" (No offence to readers who are not writers, you guys rock too).

But I didn't.

And I'm glad I didn't because if I did, I'd be crying and shoving chips down my throat right now. (I stress eat sometimes).

So, I finally snapped back into my senses, just some hours ago actually. Wanna know something? I wrote the previous chapter while suffering with doubts. I don't know if anyone else noticed but yeah I did (coz I'm the writer *rolls eyes hard*) Some are probably wondering, 'hey didn't you say that you can't write while having writer's doubt?'. Don't worry, I'll get to that later.

Now that I'm finally free from its bonds, I decided to write this because, even though it's inevitable, I'd never want any other writer to experience it. I can't tell you how to avoid it because, truth is, it can't be avoided. Even if you get over it, it'll always come back again and again for as long as you decide to stick to being a writer.

So get comfortable! Because Mr.Writer's Doubt will see you now!

(jk jk)

For all the readers who are aspiring to write a book, writing a book at the moment, already completed a book and are planning to start another, I'm pretty sure you're aware of what this bitch called Writer's doubt is.

I'm going to offer some few tips on how to overcome this doubt just in case you ever find yourself in such a situation. I'm not going to explain so much about them because they're pretty simple to understand. So!:

1. Don't compare your book with other people's work. This will only give you a high blood pressure from the increasing doubt. Don't look at other books' achievements, comments, likes, hearts, views, reads or whatever. I admit, I've done this during my 'dark days' and it didn't help with anything. It just made me feel even more shitty. So don't. But if it's just harmless looking around, it's also cool. Just ensure it's not doing any harm to your self-esteem and confidence.

2. Don't put yourself down with negative comments about yourself. This is even worse than hurtful critic from others because you know yourself better so these comments are likely to hit a home run and make you cry. Don't listen to that negativity in your brain. It's bad.

3. If your book has comments, especially the positive ones, read them from time to time. This will only show you that people actually love and enjoy your work. So......why can't you? Also, you can ask a friend who's read your book to tell you what they think about it. If it's a good review, well then. If it's bad, choke the life out of them. Jokes. If it's bad, don't give up, even if it hurts. Just work to improve it then ask again for a review on the edited version. If you don't have a friend to ask then tip number 4 is yours.

4. Love yourself. I'm talking about treat yourself to the good things in life, compliment yourself everyday, think about how blessed you are, take yourself out, hang out with friends, travel to another country, get a tan, buy a whole truck of nutella, write yourself an autograph. And most of all, love your art. Be your number one biggest fan. Delve in its magnificent beauty and slowly, you'll find yourself start to love it again.

5. Write. And this is the most important one of all. Don't stop writing because of that bitch. I know, I know, when having doubts it's hard to write but you just have to force yourself to do that coz come on! You're a writer! Do what you do best. And that's to write! And if writer's doubt sees that it failed to stop you from writing, it'll shut up, go back to its cave and wait for another moment to strike (coz it will).

Well, those are the main tips on how to deal with that. It's a very widely discussed problem that faces a lot of writers and I just wanted to emphasize more on it in case there's someone out there who's wondering how they can stop hating on their work. Writer's doubt has been the cause of many dreams being killed. If I counted how many books I've deleted because of it.......they're so many. I didn't start writing now so you can imagine how many failed projects I've had behind me.

Another issue. Accompanied side by side with doubt is fear of judgement. Dude! What're you afraid of? I know you're afraid that 'Oh no! If I write smut the readers are going to think I'm a perverted person with no life' or 'Fuck! If I write about temple sacrificial practices and demons, I'm going to get a cross and a Bible thrown at me' and other shit. You wanna know something? Don't give a shit! Write what you want to write.

You'll be surprised as to how many people will like your stuff no matter how weird you think it is. I mean, have you seen Fifty Shades of Grey? It got so popular yet there's a part where Anastasia has a butt plug in her asshole. A butt plug!!! And people love every moment of it. (I'm one of those people, sue me). So, see? No one cares. Just write to your heart's content and you'll be surprised with the result. If you want to release your inner freak, go ahead. Just don't go overboard and offend anyone intentionally because you're trying to prove this point.

Please don't let doubt kill your dream. There's nothing as horrible as seeing someone who's lost their spirit and dream. It's sad. And I don't want anyone to experience that. I wouldn't want anyone to delete a piece they've put several hours in, lost sleep over, cried over, stopped being social over just because of self-doubt.

Now I'm not only talking about writers, I'm talking about everyone. If you dance, sing, write music, draw, play instruments, play sports and all the like. Don't let doubt kill your dream. As I said before, you do you. Be the best there can be.

Doubt is real and it's scary. Don't let it win.

I know this is a long and probably unnecessary speech but at least I got it out there. I'd be glad to know that even if this message only managed to help one person, it still counts. Because a dream should never die because of doubt. I almost killed mine. And I'd have never recovered if I did. So don't let yours do.

Dream on and continue fighting.

Peace!

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