My Hero Academia: Oneshots

🍋We Wrote This Drunk Too

We're at it again with this drunken shit. This time I had my boyfriend and another fantastic friend of mine get together for a screening of The Room. After a few drinks we decided to write a crossover between My Hero Academia and The Room. 

So here it is, the horrible trashy drunken escapade. I assure you that you don't want to read this.

The Room 1A

Deku was nervous for the new semester ahead oh him at BNUA. Aizawa was a tough teacher but Ida warned him of rumors of this new professor, a mister Wiseau, is a new professor from another academy who is super powerful as well as super sexy and impossible to please. Would he be able to succeed this semester under a transfer teacher? All might had told him that "The strength of a hero is his ability to adapt and learn" but what if this teacher sees through him? What if Deku fails Mr.Wiseau so much it tears him apart?

Mr.Wiseau walked in the room. Deku could not see him through his massive mane of luscious hair. He walked in and set his papers on the desk. "Oh hai class!" His face was leathery, he wore sunglasses that covered his eyes and a fitted suit that was black with rose pedals all over it. "My name is Mr.Wiseau but you can call me Tommy! My quirk is... I cannot tell you, it is confidential. But just know I am here to give you the best semester of your life. I have a lady named Lisa who is the love of my life. Many of my students have grown up to be the greatest heroes of all time and they would not succeed without me. But enough about me, Anyways, How is your sex life?"

"I JERK OFF TO MT. LADY AND MIDNIGHT IN A CATFIGHT!" A high-pitched voice from the back of the room echoed. The rest of the class fell silent with Mineta's awkward outburst to the already uncomfortable question asked. 

"Go on..." Mr. Wiseau calmly replied.

After an hour's worth of awkward back and forth of Mineta's insecure feelings of longing and Mr. Wiseau's wise words of love, class had adjourned for lunch. Deku went to the school rooftop for some privacy to reflect on the horrific first impressions of their new teacher. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Kaminari being held at gunpoint by a drug dealer he had failed to return money to. The heroic Mr. Wiseau with his majestic lion's mane, erupted from the side of the building and threw a water bottle at the assailant's face. "You betrayed me! You're not good. You, you're just a chicken. Cheep-chip-chip-CHEYEYEYEEP!" The assailant was so confused by the Wise Wiseau's words that he proceeded to leap off the ledge of the building to his impending death. Deku would remember this heroic act till the end of his days and tell stories of this man's legend for years to come, all doubts having been cleared.

All Might heard about the incident and decided to have lunch with Mr Wiseau with some questions. "Is it true that you knew who the assailant was and what he was after?" All Might calmly inquired. 

"No, it's not true. Don't even ask. What's new with you?"

Before All Might could answer, a familiar young classmate walked into the room. "Oh..." The round faced brunette said. "Is... this a bad time?"

"What are you doing here, young Uraraka?"

"Uh... Mr. Wiseau wanted to meet with me in private for something."

"Ah, yes." He said with a breathy laugh. "Mr Mighty All."

"...All Might." He corrected.

"Yes... We will have to continue our chat later." Tommy wore a lazy grin, skin resembling a slice of filet beaten with a meat tenderizer. Once the large man left the room, he turned to the curvy round-faced girl. "You... remind me of Lisa..."

"Oh, who's lisa?" Urauraka asked confused and nervous.

"You look so stressed is everything alright? Come here, Let Tommy Help you."

"Uhm, Okay" Urauraka approached Mr.Wiseau slowly and sat in the chair next to his. Mr.Wiseau started to rub her shoulders saying, "Here, let me help you. Whats wrong?"

"Well," said Urauraka "I was just hoping I could get to know my new professor so I can better prepare for what to expect for exams.

"Well you can get to know me very well Princess." Said Tommy

suddenly Deku walked into the room. When he saw Mr.Wiseau with his hands rubbing Urauraka's shoulders he was at first shocked. Then angry. His fists clenched and he shouted "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING TO HER?"

"Oh hai Deku, I was just trying to help Urauraka relax from her school stress. You should join us?"

Deku was shocked but he also did not want to upset this new professor. Plus, UraUka looked very relaxed and like she was enjoying herself. Maybe he could join in and distress a little as well.

"Yeah Deku! I could massage you while Mr.Wiseau massages me!"

"But Uraraka, two is great, but three is a crowd." Mr. Wiseau chuckled with his alien laughter at Deku's quip. They began massaging each other, then it escalated to sprinkling rose petals over each other's naked bodies, then it escalated to actually eating the rose petals because why not? Deku couldn't help but be mesmerized and entranced by the perfect male specimen that was Mr. Wiseau's ass. He felt the uncontrollable urge to plunge inside of it. To claim it is as it own. Alas, he stayed his blade for it would be unbecoming for a mere student to take a teacher in such an undignified manner. Unfortunately, Mr. Wiseau could not contain himself from pouncing on top of Uraraka. He began violating her belly button like no belly button had been violated on before it. It was then that Deku was overcome with the seething rage and resolve needed to claim that ass. He grabbed Mr. Wiseau's ass, intent on ravaging it beyond repair. "ONE FOR ALL – FULL COWLING!" He coated his dick with the massive surge in energy, magnifying it beyond human limits and with a thunderous battle cry, "DETROIT SMAAAAAASH!", plunged himself inside of Mr. Wiseau. Tommy's ass-cheeks parted like the red sea parted when Moses miracled its ass out of the way. "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, DEKU!" Tommy cried out.