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Rachel's p.o.v trigger warning

I had just gotten out of my shower when I went through my bag I was looking for some clothes when my little secret fell out. I just looked at it. I stud there for maybe I minute when I bent over and picked it up. I sat down now on the floor with a shirt and jeans on. I was shaking. I pulled up my shirt and looked at my stomach.

Do it you fat ass. Go as deep as you can. You faggot no one likes you just do it.

I had my blade on my skin and pushed down. I started to slide it across then snapped into reality. What the fuck am I doing. I had a big cut on my stomach. I was shaking and crying. I broke a promise to all my Friends and family. Good god today was a good day before I fucked it up. But I can't change this so I just need to clean it up. I got toilet paper and rolled it up I cleaned the blood off my sides then got the first aid kit. I put rubbing achole on a cotton ball and counted to 3.  …1….2…3 I put as much  pressure on it as possible without hurting myself.

"Shit …fucking …hell …mother fucker" I said just so I can hear it

After I put the bandage on it I put my blade in the toilet and flushed it.

Time skip

I sat there with Andy next to me. I didn't tell him about my brother.

"Rachel what's this" C.C said with my blade in his hands.

I just froze. Andy looked at me. Ashley looked at me. All eyes were on me.

"You didn't … did you" Andy said with a shaly voice.

I just rubbed my stomach and looked at the floor. I didn't know what to say. I feel so guilty. So nasty. So unwanted.

Andy had started to cry. He layer me down and pulled up my shirt. Flashbacks were happening so I quickly pulled my shirt back down and ran to my bunk. God I'm such a attention whore.

"Rachel please come out we just want to help." Jake said sounding heart broken.

I gave up after a little bit and went to the living area. Andy came up and hugged me.

"Rachel please just let us see" Andy said into my ear.

I nodded in response and laid down on my side. When they came back Ashley sat at my feet and Jake pit my head in his lap. Andy yet again pulled my shirt up and started taking the bandage off. I heard him gasp then the rest of them. I looked down and saw it again. It was just like the others but just longer and deeper.

"What made you do this." Andy asked

I started mumbling not wanting for him or any one to know.  

"Rachel please tell us" Jake said now rubbing my leg.

"I saw my brother today. T-the one who r-raped me"
I was now in tears and so were the rest of the guys. But Andy and C.C. they looked mad. I just hugged my knees and Ashley Jake and jinxx all hugged me.

"Were are you going" I asked because Andy and C.C were headed to the door.

"To find your brother"

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