if I could hold back the rain

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Rachel's POV

I woke up then next morning and went into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of white rum and went back to my bunk. But before I did I looked back and sure enough everyone was looking at me with worry.

I climbed in and Ben walked to my bunk.

"Drinking your problems away doesn't fix any thing." He said looking at me.

I just shrugged and he got in my bunk with me. I tried to push him out but he wasn't bugging. I put in my ear phones and blasted my music. I took the top off the drink and put some in a sippy cup. Ben chuckled at me and I flipped him off. I started drinking and soon enough I found another drink that I could get drunk off of.

Before I got totally wasted I stopped myself and told Ben to put the bottle back. He got out and I ran to the bathroom. I filled the sink up with cold water and put my face in the ice water.

I didn't want to get drunk. I didn't want to get tipsy. I wanted to die. I counted to 30 but I didn't black out. I didn't start to breath in water. Nothing was happening. I got my face out of the water and look at my self.

I saw my self. I was a mess. My hair was a mess from last night. My eyes were red. But I didn't give a shit. I wanted to sleep the pain away. I walked out of the bathroom and there was Andy. I hugged him and put my head on his shoulder.

He rubbed my back and I let go. He looked at me and I couldn't look back at him. He took my head and made me look at him.

"Everything is going to be ok " he said and then walked away.

I went back to me bunk and texted Emme.

Emme Rachel

Hey. I miss you. I love you. And stop crying.

Hey I miss and love you to but I can't stop. And I can't text you. Chris goes through my phone. He'll see this and I'll get in trouble.

Ok I love you talk to you later I guess

Love you to talk later.

End

I looked out of my bunk and put my head phones back on. Soon enough James went to his bunk which was across from mine.

"How are you holding up?" He asked get up to his bunk.

I shrugged and he nodded. Once he was in completely we started talking. But the strange thing was we talked about each other's band. He completely dogged talking about Emme and I was happy for once.

"So have you wrote any more songs?." He asked with a face of curiosity.

I nodded my head and gave him the book that I had since I was 6. He started looking through them and looked fairly pleased with some of them.

I ended up falling asleep with him humming one of my songs called black bird.

Some one told me that
When you grow up
You'll be able to control the world

My dad told me when you fell like giving up
To put your foot down and go in head strong.

Then I let the sleep take over me.

James's pov

Rachel fell asleep to me singing to her. I looked around at her book a bit more and she dated the thing. Black bird was written 2 years ago. Right after her and Emme didn't see each other for the two year gap.

I looked through and saw her songs. I heard the pain in the lyrics. The way she felt about Emme. I don't think one has ever loved someone more then Rachel does Emme

Just put a knife through my heart
call me dead
Nothing would change
With the state I'm in

Heart broken
with the sadness on my neck

Heart broken
With the pain in my eyes

Heart broken
And I can not oblige

That I love her with my life

I got out and went to the kitchen. I put the notebook on the counter and sat down next to Ashley.

"What's that?" Ben asked

"Read it. Its Rachel's. She wrote songs to avoid depression. I don't think anyone has loved someone as much as Rachel loves Emme. This is killing her " I finished and then everyone went over to Ben and he started to say them out loud.

First he started black bird. Then he started the song that I just read. He read a few more before Rachel came out of her bunk.

She went to were Ben was and got her book then went back to her bunk to write I guess.

A few hours later
Rachels POV

I came out of my bunk and put my book back in my bunk. I had been working on a song about Chris. It was two sided and there would be something to separate the two sides but for eight now I was still writing my side. Chris would have to write his side with out me killing him.

I went into the kitchen and got a apple. I sat next to Ben and Andy. I ate my apple and they started arguing about how when British people tried to drop there accent they sounded like robot cowboys.

I was laughing about there argument and then butted in

"We don't all sound like robots when we drop our accent. I don't think I sounded like a robot. Did i?" I asked looking at Andy with Ben laughing behind me.

Andy shrugged and we won the argument. I high fived Ben and he chuckled.

We talked about me learning how to play a acoustic guitar so I could try to turn my lyrics into songs and I ended up falling asleep with my body in a ball and next to Ben with my head on his arm. He has a longer torso then me so he was taller then me when sitting down. But I was completely ok with that.

Before I fell asleep a heard Ben say

"Love you sis."

"Love ya to bro" I mumbled

BDBDBDBDDBD

HOPE YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER
I DON'T KNOW WHY IN SO HAPPY
PROBABLY BECAUSE IM AT ARIANAHS

BYE
FOTHER
MUCKERS

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