where's my mind / poetry, oneshots etc.

hospital / lams, a bit of theliza

tw: mentions of eating disorders, death?

•

"

i sighed, tapping my fingers on my jeans. anxiety was starting to get the best of me.

i noticed another person who had been in here longer than i have. he's scribbling in a notebook faster than i've ever seen. i wondered what he was writing about.

glancing up at the clock, i sighed again. it had almost been two hours, and still no news. my phone had died, and all the magazines were about gardens. as much as i loved nature, i didn't really want to know about fences at this point in time.

my eyes strayed back to the man again. he was actually kind of cute, with his messy bun and stubble. i noticed he had eye bags, too.

he caught me staring at him. "hi." he smiled.

"h-hi."

"you've been waiting a long time."

"yeah. so've you."

he shrugged. "my friend's giving birth, so i anticipated it would be a long wait."

"oh! that- that's really cool."

"yeah. i was the surrogate father. she and her girlfriend had always wanted a kid, so..."

"my friend got beat up for 'being in the wrong bathroom,'" i winced. "i'm really hoping she's ok."

"yikes." the man grimaced. "me too." he paused before saying, "my name's alex by the way. alex hamilton."

"i'm john laurens." i smiled. "it's nice to meet you."

"you too, john," he took a sip of coffee and pulled a face. "hospital coffee is rank. i don't know why i drink it."

"i hate coffee," i admitted, and giggled at his face. "i'm more a tea person myself."

"coffee is a gift." he insisted. "just not hospital coffee."

i blurted after a few moments of silence: "what are they going to call the baby?"

"they're thinking phillipa. although, the girl who's giving birth, theodosia, she's recovering from an eating disorder, so they're not entirely sure she'll make it. eliza -her girlfriend- said she'll name the baby after her if she... you know." his eyes turned glossy. "the thing is, eliza physically can't give birth, so it's a bit of a messy, really."

"oh. i'm- really sorry."

"she'll pull through, though. theo's always been a fighter."

i was about to say something before a nurse called, "friends or family of peggy schuyler?"

i gave him a quick smile. "let's hope she's ok."

***

"how is she?" alex asked immediately as i stepped out of the room.

"she's... good. banged up, but she'll recover soon enough."

"that's great."

"heard any news on your friends yet?"

he shook his head. "no. i'm getting worried."

"hey, i'm sure they're fine."

"thanks, john."

there was a few minutes of silence before a nurse called, "friends or family of theodosia bartow and eliza schuyler?"

alex scrambled up, face pale. i squeezed his hand as he left.

***

it was almost an hour before he returned. and when he did, the look on his face shattered my heart.

his eyes were red and puffy; his face blotchy; hands fidgeting at his sides and his whole body shaking.

he was followed by a smaller, petite, pale women who was the same but still sobbing into his arm.

"alex!" i got up and rushed to their side. "what..." i knew i didn't have to ask.

the girl, who i assumed was eliza, looked up and smiled through her tears. "who's this, alex? your boyfriend?"

he chuckled awkwardly. "n-no, bets, this is john. we met while we were waiting. i'm assuming he knows your sister...?" he trailed off.

"angelica or peggy?"

"p-peggy..." i stammered. "you guys are... sisters?"

"adopted." she smiled shakily. "i am."

alex hugged her closer and she started weeping again. alex's eyes were glossy, too, and my own vision was starting to blur.

i hardly knew these people and their stories -alex, eliza, theodosia- and yet, there i was, feeling for them. we're funny things, humans. so full of empathy.

the two sat together and mourned as i sat opposite and did too; mourning a girl i've never met.

eliza eventually went into another room to look after her child, and left me and alex by ourselves.

he smiled at me. "i'd like to hang out some other time. somewhere that isn't a hospital."

i looked down at my hands. "i'd like that, too."

he gave me his number.

"

***

"and that," i conclude, "is how we met."

pip grins. "that was the weirdest place to meet. a hospital." he pulls a face.

"i'm glad we did, though," i chuckle, squeezing my husband's hand.

"me too."

•

hush i know the ending was crAP but