where's my mind / poetry, oneshots etc.

death / zolana

they sit under an apple tree, which sits sturdily under the stars. the sky is a deep blue-violent, like spilt ink.

"how do you want to die?" zoe asks softly, her breath smelling of fruity cider.

alana cocks her head, the grass underneath her palms ticking her hands. "i don't really want to die."

"why not?"

she turns away, breath sharp. the world wobbles slightly, and it blurs, and the ink starts to drown her. she wets her lips before starting quietly. "back in sixth grade, i had these... thoughts. they were horrible– i– they were– they twisted my mind and made everything seem as... as dark as the sky.

"i had them until tenth grade. before i moved schools, there was a shooting and being so close to death made me realise... that i didn't want to die. ever. death scares me."

zoe chews on her lip. "i want to watch the world end. i want to stand and watch the sky fall down."

"like in chicken little?"

"yeah." zoe exhales with a smile. "like in chicken little."

"if i have to die, then i'm going to die watching the sky fall down with you. i'll hold your hand."

"thank you. i'll need it." zoe laughs.

"or maybe i'll die on a motorcycle."

"like a suicide?"

"no. i'll just be on a motorcycle and enjoying life and all of a sudden it's dark. death with no pain."

a few moments pass before zoe answers. "are you scared of a painful death?"

"yeah. i guess."

"so what about old age?"

"no." alana says it before zoe has even finished the sentence. "i'm scared of getting old."

zoe laughs again. "why?"

"i'm going to forget so much. what if i don't remember my sister's favourite song, or how the sky looks tonight– what if– what if i don't remember this? i don't want to forget anything about this... or– or you."

the words linger in the air like a bated breath. the world stops wobbling and blurring and stops drowning alana and instead it slows.

a smile is carved upon zoe's lips as she leans forward, her sweet, alcoholic breath drifting into alana's face. "how about i make this night memorable?" she almost giggles and leans in even more.

alana swears she hears the stars sigh.