where's my mind / poetry, oneshots etc.

breathe pt 2

who likes pointless drama and lowkey manipulative relationships? whoo

evan, zoe, alana, and jared sat around the lunch table, silent as usual.

jared, zoe, and alana didn't really know each other that well; jared knew evan who knew zoe who knew alana, and since none of them really had any friends, they'd slowly got closer than they were, but still not that close, like you'd expect a friendship group to be.

an odd mix, to be honest. jared was an asshole; evan was a pushover; zoe was fiery; alana was calm. and yet, they managed to come together as an awkward group of acquaintances and friends that all mutually knew they'd go back to their old lives when connor came back.

jared sighed and finally said, "i almost got fired from lush yesterday."

"what did you do?" alana rolled her eyes.

"so, i was staring at the bath bombs and thinking, what would they taste like?"

"why the fuck would you think that?" zoe groaned.

"so anyways, i reached for a red one i just... cronched it."

"cronch?" zoe repeated, a grimace on her face.

"a-and then what h-happened?" evan asked, genuinely intrigued.

"well, the manager was all like 'you can't eat bath bombs'–"

"wonder why," alana muttered.

"–and said that if i did it again, i'd be fired."

"no offence, but that's literally the worst thing that's come out if your mouth, and you've said some shit." zoe rolled her eyes.

"oh, fuck off, murphy."

"a-anyway," evan turned to zoe. "h-have you told e-everyone about c-c-connor, y-yet?"

"yeah, i told lana," she squeezed her friend's hand, "just not kleinman."

"seriously, why am i the last to know about everything?"

"because you're annoying," zoe muttered under her breath but told jared, "connor woke up yesterday." she said in a tone so bland you'd think she'd be talking about maths.

"really? that's... controversial."

"i-i think i-it's g-great!" evan tried to lighten his friends' spirits.

"that's because you, evan hansen," zoe pointed a soggy, ketchup smothered chip at her friend, "didn't know him." she said with a growl.

evan saw the glint in her eye and tensed. "i-i just, um– w-well, with my e-experiences– with– with him– i-i just, um– i th-think he's–" he struggled to find the right word, before cautiously whispering, "nice?"

zoe went off like a bomb. "nice? connor is not nice, evan. you don't know him!"

"i-i know! i just–"

"babe–" alana tried to reason.

"connor had me lying awake, scared out of my mind as he banged on my door swearing he'll kill me," zoe snapped and stood up. "and that, evan, is not nice." she spat and stormed away.

evan immediately started to shake as tears blurred his vision.

of course he ruined it.

alana and jared at him. he looked down at his lip, cheeks burning and chest heaving.

"nice going, evan." alana rolled her eyes and followed after zoe.

jared stared after her, then back to his... family friend.

he hated when evan did this. he knew he couldn't help the shaking and the wheezing, but it freaked jared out. he was scared he was going to do something wrong, despite struggling with anxiety himself.

evan felt his unsure gaze and shuffled. "i-i'm sorry."

"'s fine." he shrugged.

"d-d'you think zoe'll be o-ok?"

"yeah. once i saw her scream and bitchslap a guy, then sat down and made a daisy chain. that girl's emotions change quicker than the weather."

evan nodded, nausea taking over him. his eyes stung with unreleased tears.

"i-i need to s-say sorry," he whispered hoarsely, before grabbing his bag and marching out of the cafeteria.

jared found himself alone, once again.

•

i just feel zoe should've got more angry at evan or didn't believe the whole 'if i could tell her' bcs connor was an asshole to her